This is a huge confession and its going to be a read thru and im going to need your guys support and advice ---now let me start this by saying I am a 8-9.5 guy and have been rated so by girls on a daily basis, in my life time i hope to be this 9.5 by getting ripped and so on So this questioning all started a few years ago after a life traumatic experience, i was 16 at the time and didnt what was going on was just riding out things to see how they go at the moment So i had convinced this one really hot girl "b" to come over and hang out, so bet i go and i pick her up i bring her back to mine, while my mom is out i get high and drunk with her i am hooking up with her in my bed and i was a virgin at this point get that? and so i was like ok why not shes cool, and so i go to have sex with her and i cant even get hard or ejaculate it was extremely embarrassing. I didnt understand why my junk wouldnt work, i also had surroundings which were bugging me at the time and those may be the cause IDK couple of months later i kiss girls here and there and i finnaly get this girl who is very prude to have sex with me quickly so hot she was amazing, except one thing, my dick just wouldnt get hard i was so nervous the whole time about the last experience i had with a girl i was just nervous and nothing would happen and i kept apologizing and saying she was so pretty but i could tell she wasn't having it and i blew my chance and i just didnt know what to do I still have hooked up and tried to have sex with one more girl but nothing, throughtout this i have decieded to tell my self infact since i cannot get off with a girl i am gay? please help me with this: have been watching porn 4ever (!)(&&&):bang::bang::bang::bang::bang::bang::bang::bang::bang::bang::bang::bang::bang::bang::bang::bang::bang::bang:
"while my mom is out i get high and drunk" Alcoholic beverages have the effect of inhibiting the ability to become aroused, Even Shakespeare wrote a short quip on it in Macbeth: "Lechery, sir, it provokes and unprovokes; it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance: therefore, much drink may be said to be an equivocator with lechery: it makes him, and it mars him; it sets him on, and it takes him off; it persuades him, and disheartens him; makes him stand to, and not stand to: in conclusion, equivocates him in a sleep, and, giving him the lie, leaves him." So the first failure was likely simply because you had too much alcohol in your system and thus while provoked in desire, could not arouse yourself for the performance, as is the case with alcohol. The later cases sound like the first failure has put into your mind a great deal of performance anxiety. It is also well known that it is hard to well, get hard, when you feel stressed and under pressure. So I would say your ability to get aroused and do the deed is more a product of the stress and anxiety of the previous failed attempts. Worrying that these failures mean you are gay or such is likely just putting more stress on yourself. From the sound of it while you are unhappy things aren't working with women right now, you haven't said anything to the effect of finding guys attractive which is kind of a requisite for being gay. So I would say you most likely are not gay, just suffering from some performance anxiety. Trying to get yourself into a more relaxed mental state before you try and have sex again (ie: don't worry too much about whether you will be able to perform, just try to enjoy yourself) should help.
