i really am envious of those who are sure of themselves. i have been confused for so long and frankly its tiring and annoying. i feel like i am losing who i am, and as though all of this is 'imaginery' feelings that i have towards girls(is that even how you spell imaginery). my friends are pretty sure that i am bi or even lesbian but despite all of that im not sure. maybe im in denial? maybe im afraid of being wrong. this process is annoying.:bang::tantrum:
Hey don't worry about being certain or not! If anybody asks, you can just say "I haven't figured it out yet" (or "straight" for closeting reasons). While it's obviously very foggy for you right now, you only need to act on things as they come. Your feelings are like a guestbook in that whoever you like is in there. You don't need to have your novel written for when someone comes along! If you're into a guy, that's fine. If you're into a girl, that's fine. Go for them! If you realize you've made a mistake, don't worry just don't let you hurt yourself.
You shouldn't be afraid of being "wrong" because frankly, there isn't any one right answer! About three months ago, I was feeling totally lost, just like you, but then I realized that maybe I would NEVER know what my sexuality is, or maybe I would wake up tomorrow confident that I was lesbian, or straight, or bi. For now, let things go as they are, go with the flow, and know that you aren't forced by anyone to immediately choose who you are and be like that forever. After all, it isn't really something you choose. Just live your life and with time you will figure things out! good luck!
thanks guys, i guess i am just afraid. im also afraid that what if i do come out as lesbian/bi to family nd then later realise that i am not. i wouldnt want to come out if im not sure. when did you guys realise and confirm, if i can say, that you were gay? dd u just wake up one morning and had the "ahha" moment?
I've been confused since October last year, you aren't alone in that regard. As for denial, I'm honestly not sure. Denial is not accepting the truth, and basically putting it aside. It doesn't sound like you're in denial (that's what I think). Strictly put, denial sounds like "I know I'm gay but I can't be gay!" Sounds contradicting but that's what denial is, no? It's like having all the evidence there and still not accepting the truth.
I don't think you actually need to know your sexuality. Lables are for jars, as one memeber on EC said in their orientation! It can be confusing, but you should hopefully work it out one day!
Jax 12, one thing i know is that had there not been any external forces affecting my lack of acceptance to being gay then i would persue girls (acting purely on emotion). Two ways i hear you but how do you come out as gay when sexuality is so fluid?
This is such a big misconception.. YES, sexuality is apparently fluid for some people but for A LOT of us it isn't. I wish everyone would just stop saying that without adding: "this isn't the case for everyone, though."
About a year ago, I had thoughts of it. Two major events have happened, and I finally feel 100% about it (since this weekend!). I know you'll get to where you want to be! If you feel like you're not down to identify as gay (or something like that), it's not like you made promise to anyone! Might have to answer a few questions, but don't let that stop you from happiness! :icon_bigg
I was the guy who was in denial as a teenager especially my senior years. I then started to actually have thoughts of me having sex with men at 18(so three years ago). It was sometime that December when I made a facebook friend out of someone I didn't know, that he presented a question that I was unsure of the answer to. I then decided to look into my past and I spent two years doing that and it came to me slowly until I had one final question, which was as some of you may know, "Do Gay guys have to fit the stereotype." I also needed the opinion of someone else because that would have made it all the more real to me. I then have come to completely accept myself as gay, and I am now trying to make some gay friends that I can talk to and hopefully get into a relationship with. So realistically my coming out journey spanned two years and a half, and I believe 2014 about September or October was when I first came out and accepted myself within the span of months. Now I am here. So I had a fair while where I questioned myself, two years of research before I accepted it and worked it out. (Two whole years) First let me ask you the question, how long have you been questioning. Because it can take a long time for people to work out their sexuality, a great example is me. Also for some of the older generation it has taken them even longer to work out their sexuality and accept it. Some people are just very fluid in sexuality and others are not. Some like guys for three years and like girls for three years and so on and so forth. I had no website that helped me through questioning except for at the very end of my questioning period with that one question and now I have used this forum a lot more because I finally am comfortable and happy with being a homosexual man.
I would like to add one more important thought. Knowing your sexuality, as I have discovered, comes with time. Some can figure it out on their own, while others need a profession to help them sort things out. Likewise, some people know their orientation, while others will seek real life experience (me). In the end, what matters is knowing yourself and accepting it as a part of who you are, regardless of your orientation. I've spoken with my psychologist since October, and from there I've become much more open minded then I was before. Many times I'll look myself in the mirror and tell myself that I'm gay, then respond by claiming it's not true. In addition, I find myself wishing I was gay in hopes that all of this confusion would be over. How often do you hear a gay guy in denial wishing that he was gay. Therefore, I would like to emphasize a very critical point: There is a major difference between someone who is in denial and someone who is confused.
I Have been questionibg myself for what seems like a lifetime. it was around high school so roughly about 4 years :/.. i just feel as though i still need more evidence. lately however i have been slowly accepting which scares me 'cause accepting is just 'a whole can of worms' so i find myself in that weird space of 'knowing' the truth and not wanting to know. this is all weird. ---------- Post added 14th Mar 2015 at 02:07 AM ---------- accepting would be like opening 'a can of worms' i meant to say.
Just Love those you Love. Love is without gender, & without sexuality. Love is the feeling when if the other person was crossing the road and about to get hit by a car whom you'd run towards and push out of the way of the oncoming vehicle and stand their yourself. That's Love.
I'm in a similar situation it's even harder after being with my partner of 9 years and having a 3 year old together . I started to question myself one min I think I'm straight then the next I think I'm gay . ---------- Post added 14th Mar 2015 at 12:41 PM ---------- I just wish there was a way of being a 100% sure but I always over think .
I can understand the feelings of envy that can arise from this. I have confronted feelings of envy recently. But then I started asking myself questions such as - "Is there really a "requirement" for me to fully know for sure?" There's no requirement, there's no rush in deciding at the end of the day. As ellyy said, sexuality is not fluid for many people - and that does seem to be the case. Or perhaps the people you may think "have it figured out" actually don't. You can't expect people to show their insecurities with anything in the public sphere, because that sort of exposition is just not done. At least, not often. You have plenty of time to figure it out. I am also confused like you, so I've been recently telling myself to wait until I can be certain for sure. I don't think I'm repressing myself with anything, but I also could be wrong. If your sexuality is fluid, then don't worry about labeling yourself. Label yourself however you wish, if that helps. Don't feel the need to conform to orientations. I am starting to think that it's natural for most of us to see them too scientifically.
I admit that I'm a little jealous of people who knew they were gay since they were very young. I've been questioning whether I'm straight or bisexual for a few years now. It's frustrating that it's taking this long to figure out what I am compared to most lgbt people.
