Basically, there's been someone who *in my head* I feel some sort of attracted to, but who in person I don't noticeably feel anything towards. It's like they're a friend, albeit a very good one who makes me feel comfortable, and that's pretty much how I see and treat them when we go out, it all feels pretty standard and friendly. But afterwards, around this time usually, I think about them and often get fantasies about them, etc. Thinking up scenarios where I tell them and we go on a date, or some things like that. So...is it normal to like someone in your head/in theory, but be (romantically) indifferent to them irl?
I would assume that it is normal, a crush would be something tangible in real life. Maybe you are just using them in your head to test out certain things that you obviously dont want with them in real life. But you feel comfortable with them so thats just what you r mind just auto chose if that makes any sense. But thats just my opinion.
I think that's happened to me once or twice, or similar anyway. Sometimes the daydreams in out head are a lot different than how we feel in reality.
Fair enough. Perhaps I just shouldn't think too much of it then. I know I like to be around him, and when I'm not I usually want to be. So there might be some subtle irl signs like that that I'm not really picking up on, because I do want his attention a fair bit and I prefer hanging out with just him. But yeah, I guess my interactions with him and my thoughts about it afterwards are quite different. It's a funny thing.
I think it's more you realize what you had and that this person made you feel special. I think that's also a reason a lot of threads here are about closeted people (including my own experience) falling for the first nice person who meets their internal checklist of "attraction", even if that person is straight.
