I need advice... I think I'm in love with my housemate

Hello everyone.... I would like to ask your help since I'm very much confused right now. I just moved to a new place and there is this girl that I met, she's a lesbian. Honestly the first time I met her, my heart was like into a racing mode. This is the very first time that I became attracted to a girl. I have already gotten into several relationships with men and the last one was a bit traumatic and painful too plus I have already thrown almost half of my life with the guy but still it didn't work out. So when I met this girl I can definitely say that I was still in the recovery mode from my past relationship. But even though how much I tried to control my emotions, it just kept on growing and growing. She went into a vacation which is a good thing since I was always nervous around her and it also gave me some time to think and sort things out. But it was like I was counting the days until she came back and when she did, again my heart was always racing whenever she was around. We live in the same house so it is very difficult for me to act normal whenever she's around. I don't know if she already noticed my reaction towards her since I also noticed that she's also finding it a bit hard to act normal towards me. Even though we have been living in the same house for more than a month, we seldom talk and our conversations are like always in a yes or no mode. I feel like she already knows that I like her maybe that's why she's acting strange around me. She's really cute so I know she can get any girl she wants, and sadly I don't think I'm her type since I'm not pretty and also I'm fat. But I'm also confused since I can't help but notice some things about her. Like she sometimes does my routine housework for me, or she suddenly tries to talk to me out of the blue, or she even calls me sometimes for very simple reasons like to check what is on TV or if what time her favorite show is going to air, and there are times when I talk too long on the phone she just leaves in a grumpy mood and just leaves the house either with a bad toned bye or totally no goodbye at all. And I'm most surprised with that she remembers things about me like what I like to eat, what I don't like to eat, my habits, my kind of music and shows. It's like for the very few times that we have talked or interacted, it was like she was taking note of everything. Like for example, the kind of shows that I watched, I never told her about it, but I told someone we both know and she was around when I told that friend about the kind of shows that I like. Somehow I'm feeling like I'm just imagining things or maybe since I like her too much, maybe I am making myself believe that she likes me too. I'm really confused with myself right now since this is my first time to like a girl plus the fact that I somehow think that it's totally impossible for her to like me back, so I'm very much frustrated too. I don't know if she likes me too and it's driving me insane just thinking about it. Can anyone help me so I can know if she even likes me too even one bit? Thanks in advance....

 

Hello JooBooGoo, thank you for advice. Actually my previous relationship ended last 2013, I was just too caught up with the ending and separation that I still tried to hold on to him until 2014. I was still trying to patch things up but unfortunately it still didn't work out. But I can definitely say that my heart is all better now especially after I met my housemate. She really gave my life a new sunshine. Before I was really pessimistic about things but now I am looking forward to things again. But since she's a girl, I honestly don't know what to do. Just the thought of asking her out and getting rejected terrifies me. We both know each other's relatives so I'm afraid that if I reveal my true feelings for her, it will only complicate our living arrangement plus she might tell someone we both know. I'm afraid really but I really really like her so I'm so confused.
About the way she acts around me is too confusing as well, sometimes she's sweet and caring, sometimes flirty in a way, sometimes sarcastic in a way or moody and blank especially when I have been talking on the phone with a guy for a very long time just like today, she just left with a low toned bye and the door went banging which is very unusual. She is also a bit awkward when she talks to me. Sometimes I noticed her voice trembles when she talks to me. And she has been gradually telling me stuff about herself like what she likes to eat, her habits and likes and dislikes even her past life in the place where she came from.
I don't know what I should do. She certainly has made my heart happy and excited again.

 

This just happened a few days ago. My housemate just walked into my room while I was talking to my friend on the phone. I somehow think that she may have overheard me talking about my feelings for her with my friend. I didn't know she was in the house so I was totally shocked when she just appeared in the room with a weird expression on her face. Honestly I was expecting her to act strange or more awkward towards me after that, but she didn't. In fact, now I kinda think she's more talkative than usual. But sometimes she tends to be sarcastic in her responses but also she sometimes sounds sweet too. So I'm so confused on how I should act around her. Please someone give me an advice on what to do.

 

Honestly I really really like her. I haven't felt this strongly about a girl before. I maybe way out of my league since she's totally cute and I don't see any reason for her to like me back. But deep inside my heart I want to be close to her. I want to experience what it feels like to actually be loved by her and to love her back. I can't stop thinking about her and I think this house mate situation is the what's making things more complicated. I'm falling more and more for her since we live in the same house. Funny thing is I can't stop myself from counting the time that she is supposed to come home. I always can't wait to see her face.

Can I ask, I'm a bit confused on why she becomes sarcastic sometimes with her responses but then there are also times that she's sweet and shows concern. I really can't understand that part. Also how can I show her that I like her in a way that if by chance she doesn't like me, it won't add more awkwardness to our current situation.

I would really like to ask her out but honestly I'm too afraid. We have already gone to different places a few times since she was helping me and touring me around. She also has introduced me to some of her friends and she has really gone out of the way in teaching me things since I am new at our place. Though through it all, you can feel that wall between us. Whenever we're near each other it's like something sparks and I can't stand being next to her because I'm afraid that she'll notice my reaction. Before I can sense that she also tries to avoid being so close to me. Like one time when we were riding a bus, and her leg accidentally got close to my leg, she quickly moved her leg away like I was thinking, am I that repulsive to her that she'll have that kind of reaction. Also before when we somehow need to be in the kitchen, she would always wait that I finish first in the kitchen before moving in since the kitchen is a bit small. But now, I think she's no longer like that. She now just moves in and out even if I am in the same room or area. And she's no longer afraid to be near me since I remember one time when we were in her car, she sort of brushed by my arm since she was trying to look at something. And I have also noticed that she now records the shows that I watch and whenever I am in the living room with her, she always switches to the pre recorded shows so we both could watch since I don't usually go down to watch TV with her.

Are these signs that there's a possibility that she likes me? I would do anything for her to like me back. Any suggestions please??? Thanks and hope you guys can help me.

 

I am more confused now. My housemate is really more confusing now, since she sometimes shows more concern about me but at the same time she can't stand being alone with me either in the same room or in the house so she just leaves and just goes home at pass midnight to avoid being with me every time she knows that we will have some free time just two of us in the house.. I feel like I'm in a seesaw of emotions. I keep on asking myself if she likes me or not. I'm starting to think that I should just avoid her as well. What should I do?