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Is mostly straight a thing?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by woahthatsboring, Mar 10, 2015.

  1. woahthatsboring

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    After filling out my information for this chat and clicked on sexual orientation I didn't know what to pick. I like guys and just one girl... Does that make me mostly straight and is that even a thing. Maybe I'm just in denial of being possibly bisexual. :rolle::confused:
     
  2. ellyy

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    Can you see yourself dating girls?

    If you can then you probably have the potential to like other girls as well.
    If you can't, you might not be used to the idea or this one girl might be an exception for you.

    But if I were you, I'd investigate this more because chances are that you are bisexual (and then perhaps with a preference for guys).

    I generally think that if you have the ability to like one person of a certain gender, you probably have the ability to like more people of that gender.

    That's just my opinion, and know that only you can truly know, as long as you're being honest with yourself, what your sexuality is.
     
  3. woahthatsboring

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    What do you mean by investigate? if you don't mind me asking and I honestly don't know if I could see myself dating girls but I do think about it sometimes and wonder what it would be like.
     
  4. TJ

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    As far as I'm aware, that'd be labeled as "bisexual with a preference for guys."
    But I would recognize "mostly straight" as a pretty acceptable answer to that question as well. It really just depends which you're most comfortable with.

    As you grow to accept your sexuality more you may feel more comfortable with the label 'bisexual', and you may realize that you could see yourself in a relationship with a girl.

    When I was first realizing that I wasn't straight, I couldn't imagine myself being in a relationship with a man. It's not easy to switch from girls to guys (or vice versa) at the drop of a hat. You've been thinking your entire life about being with a man; don't expect yourself to feel comfortable with the idea of being with a woman immediately.

    By "investigate" I think ellyy just means continue to question yourself and explore the possibilities.
    Talking to people about your sexuality and their sexuality and reading threads on EC is a great way to explore feelings that you perhaps haven't thought about before.
     
  5. ellyy

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    I mean just dig deeper into your feelings and figure out if you truly like (other) girls or not.
    I assume the concept of dating girls is still pretty new to you so it might take some time to get used to it. But even if you do you might, of course, find that it's not what you truly want. Either way, take your time and try your best not to stress about it.
     
  6. woahthatsboring

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    Thank you! You're so brave by the way.

    ---------- Post added 10th Mar 2015 at 08:09 PM ----------

    Thank you :slight_smile:
     
  7. Jax12

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    This. In the end, you'll decide on which label most accurately describes you. I've thought about bisexual for a long time because I knew I had attractions to girls, but also some attraction to older men. I still have homoerotic interests with men, but it's only with older men. Being attracted to the same gender isn't the problem here, it's being attracted to older men. I would rather be attracted to guys my age than guys that are decades older than me, but it's not like I chose my attractions anyways.

    The main reason why I do not choose the bisexual label is because I cannot see myself dating a guy. Guy's are the ones I could talk to for casual chats, and most importantly talk about girls. If we put aside sex, women are the ones that I will spend my whole life with.

    I had sex with a much older man. I thought the experience was OK. I found that I liked spending time with a man, but not having sexual relationships with one (if that makes sense). It was more of a father son dynamic, which isn't really what I want but also something that I was pursuing at a subconscious level.
     
    #7 Jax12, Mar 10, 2015
    Last edited: Mar 10, 2015
  8. woahthatsboring

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    I don't if I should say I'm bisexual because I can't fluidly say I'm attracted to other girls my age. Exactly like what you said and I understand completely. I tried to see if I felt something more for them like I do for the girl I like but all I was left with was just fascination and I liked them as a friend, nothing more. I don't think that means I'm never going to like other girls but for now that's why I'm confused with my label.
     
  9. Jax12

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    Yeah it's complicated. It's taken me nearly 600 posts to realize and come to the conclusion that yes, I do have some attraction to older men, and nothing I do will change or "wipe" that part out of me. The label straight feels right to me because all my life, when it comes to dates and relationships, it's always been girls.

    I might have sex with an older guy from time to time, but that doesn't change the fact that I like girls, nor does this say I'm bisexual. A gay individual who identifies himself as gay but still has sex with women doesn't make him bi unless the whole experience told him otherwise.

    As long as you feel comfortable with the label that defines you, that's all that matters. You don't even have to label yourself at all, but for some people (me for example), we need a label or else it seems like we don't know ourselves.
     
  10. woahthatsboring

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    I recently just started to search more into this ordination more, like you said a big part of me has known guys for so long--- I'm used to them and I think the idea of being with the girl or any girl period scares me because I've only known straight. But thanks for all your help it really means a lot :slight_smile:
     
  11. ellyy

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    I just want to say that I used to think like this before when I thought I was straight. I had this strong image of myself as heterosexual and I genuinely thought that was true. Looking back I of course realize that it wasn't.

    I'm definitely not saying that this applies to you but just in case.
     
  12. woahthatsboring

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    Yeah, it's kind of hard when you've been straight up until a certain point and you begin to question if you ever really was straight... I don't know yet still trying to figure that out.
     
  13. ellyy

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    If you are not straight now you haven't ever been straight — you just haven't realized it until now. There are people who go through their lives genuinely believing they're straight and then years later they realize that's not the case and it never was. It is very possible to be so heavily in denial or just very ignorant.

    Anyway, can you explain more how you feel about this girl and how you feel about guys? Are you sexually and romantically attracted to them?
     
  14. woahthatsboring

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    I genuinely belived I was straight, and I still do like guys so maybe I'm just bisexual and in denial of that. Still confused on how to tell if it's a phase and I just like this one girl and when I move on so will the crush on her... At least that's what I want to happen.

    Moving on from that, I am sexually and romantically attracted to guys and girls I honestly have no idea!:/ it's pretty hard to describe how I feel about this girl it's just at that moment when I first met her, there was something about her and I knew I was gonna like her way more than I probably should have, if that makes any sense? With guys its normal-- like I said before guys have been a constant in my life from watching my parents, and even the media I just knew when I grew up I was gonna be with a guy. And just because I started to like this girl that hasn't changed how I feel about guys, it just complicates things more.
     
  15. Seagypsy

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    Hey you sound like me, I started off by liking guys and just 1 girl, but since then a few years ago I have now been attracted to 3 girls... I think it is denial but it doesn't mean you must be a lesbian, you probably still might prefer guys, but you could be more bisexual than you realise... :icon_wink
     
  16. woahthatsboring

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    But I'm not used to this! It's all so different... I notice you're older than me-- do you have any advice?
     
  17. Seagypsy

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    Um, not really, although I wish I did!! I was 30 when I finally faced my suppressed feelings for girls. I was uncomfortable with the whole idea of anything other than being straight, as my family is extremely homophobic...

    I know that I had to revisit my childhood crush on an actress to make peace with her in my head (having told myself I hate her and been unable to look at photos of her!) before I could get close to a girl in real life who really liked me. I had caused her pain and needed to face my fears. Having done this, I have now met another 2 girls who I'm really attracted to, but still not done much besides the odd couple of kisses. But at least I can relax enough to let my attraction flow.

    How old are you now? Did you crush on girls when you were growing up? Or have any idea you liked them? And what kind of guys do you find attractive, what kinds of traits? Because that for me was a big clue that I was really not hetero at all... I love softer, feminine type traits in guys, I guess you could say submissive traits, but I want them to act dominant (which never works out!) :icon_redf
     
    #17 Seagypsy, Mar 11, 2015
    Last edited: Mar 11, 2015
  18. woahthatsboring

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    I'm pretty young haha I actually just turned 18 and I found a couple of different girls cute but I never actually truly liked them maybe just the idea of them unlike this girl I like now. I know she's not perfect but it makes me like her more and more each day it's pretty sad how much I like her :/ but I find a lot of different guys attractive-- as long as he wasn't ugly, played a sport and was taller than me then I'm ok. I like the feeling of having someone protect me but that might just be my daddy issues. But the guys I like tend to be manly but have a sensitive side.
     
  19. Clay

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    The way I look at it is like a percentage, rather than black or white.

    You say you're straight, so what % straight would you say you are? 95%? 85%?

    Ask yourself that, it might help you decide.
     
  20. woahthatsboring

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    But what does it mean if I I'm not 100% straight? For example... Maybe I'm 70% straight and 30% lesbian, does that make me bisexual?