Hi, I've been questioning what I am for some time now and have been reading this forum for the past few days. Most people on here seemed to have had at least some inkling to what they are from a young age. When I was young and through puberty I would consider myself as hetro. As I have got older I seem to have gotten more and more homo to the point that I almost exclusively masturbate to gay porn and have almost exclusive gay fantasies. I have had a number of female sexual partners and although all of them were fine, none of them felt great. I have recently had a male one night stand and although it was utterly nerve wracking it felt great. Going over it in my head, I probably sound bi, but that's worse case scenario. Apart from the initial awkwardness I don't think being gay would cause too much of an issue with my friends or family, but I'm just not sure. I just wish I could be sure if what I am so I can live my life as that. Apologies for rambling on but I find it difficult and it would be great to hear any advice or views from this online community. Thank you
It sounds to me like you're gay or bi with a preference for guys. I say that because there is an obvious difference in the way you feel while having sex with a guy. You said it was nerve racking but felt great nonetheless.. that's a pretty clear sign of strong sexual attraction. Then again, you have to identify with what you feel most comfortable with. You've only recently started exploring with men, give it a bit of time. Things may become clear on their own. Hope this helped!
I agree with Emily. Give yourself some time until you are sure about your orientation. According to your words, it seems that you prefer having sex with guys. Anyhow, I think that labels are not so important. Whatever makes you feel good is OK. I advise you to be honest with yourself, though. Finally, being gay or bi doesn't have to change your life. You can live in the same way that you have been living so far. One person is much more than his or her orientation. That's only a small part of yourself
Gay, straight and bi are general categories that most people fit rather neatly into, but not all. Here's why. If you take two identical people, like twins for example, and you expose them to different environments growing up they will mostly turn out to have similar sexualities but not exactly. Small differences invariably show up. That's because environment has a role to play in sexuality. It makes sense then that there are some people with whom environment plays a larger role than the average, extending to the point that "orientation" is dependent on the gender of the people they fall for and not on some pre-defined idea of what orientation should mean. Society loves to typecast and hasn't quite accepted this view yet but they are working on it. In the mean time try not to let categorization ambiguity get you down. I for one greatly admire people who love people for who they are and not some preconceived notion of who they represent. It's very refreshing actually.
Hey, Been around 9 months since I last posted and can't believe how much my life's changed!!! The best thing that I did was go away by myself and give myself some space to experiment. After some time with some truly eyeopening experiences I came to accept that I am gay. I've recently started seeing a guy who has been really supportive and has helped me come out to a few close friends who have also been great. Thank you for those who took the time to read my post and playing a small part into helping me be as happy as I am now.
