I cant tell what my sexual identity is. I found this post on the forum but didn't want to hijack it so I started a new one. Basically I'm very submissive in a BDSM way, and my fantasies always include my missus dominating me to perform for a member of the same sex. I'm also heavily into cross dressing. I've been with my partner for 6 years, and have been out with other guys as a teenager but never done anything. All my friends and one of their dad's has always teased me that I'm gay but I don't fancy other men in a relationship way just a the BDSM thing. This seems to be a useful part of that post Thank you for any advice you can give me, as you can probably guess I'm quiet unhappy and I've tried Psychology forums to no advice.:bang:
Hi, So part of the issue would seem to be that you're focusing on behavior (BDSM, submission, cross dressing) rather than your actual orientation and attraction. Reread the second paragraph of my post above. How does it apply to you? Do you masturbate to guys? Do your eyes wander toward guys? Or none of the above? If you can provide more clarity it will be easier to help you.
Pretty happy I found the person who wrote that. Thanks. I think about both when I masturbate, usually both together, and occasionally separately. Its the dick, not the guy its attached to. Occasionally I dream about guys but I think it's only happened once or twice. I always dream about girls.I definitely notice guys and girls buts when I'm not paying attention because I think "Why am I looking at his but?" Honestly, I've tried to go with guys when I was younger, one was a dirty old man, the other crossed wires, and the third never went all the way but was comfortable. I'm genuinely sorry if that's too much information, but hopefully it'll help explain my situation.
I took an online test called the S.A.G.E test. It said: S.A.G.E. Test Results Your Raw Score is: -315, which indicates that overall you are Androgynous Your appearance is Masculine Your brain processes are mostly that of a Androgynous person. You appear to socialize in a androgynous manner. You believe you have mild conflicts about your gender identity. You indicated your were born Male. ANALYSIS: Male to Female possible Transsexual NOTES: Your Answers indicate your psychological state has likely prevailed since you were quite young. Your answers about your sexual orientation were contradictory. You indicated you are PARAPHILIC - attracted to something other than humans - but also attracted to people? S.A.G.E. assumed you are ANALLOPHILIC - not attracted to other people - and processed your answers with that assumption in mind. Intresting that it says I am androgynous, but possibly a transsexual?
I thought I was in denial for a while now, but then my psychologist asked me to look back at my life and ask myself: was there a time when I tried to suppress or discard the gay thoughts I had? I immediately said no because I really don't recall being different. Technically speaking, I was attracted to girls that had a nice ass and body. It wouldn't give me a boner, but kissing a girl did so there's that. I don't recall myself saying things like "I can't be gay!", if anything, I was trying to tell myself that I was gay or bi just so this whole confusion would end. At this point, I'm more inclined to believe that this whole confusion is driven by anxiety and father issues. I only find one very specific type of guy attractive, but it's not comforable to fantasize about, and once I do gap about it, every single gay thought that I have/had is gone, at least for a bit.