Have I been lying to myself?

I'm a 23 year old woman.

As long as I can remember, I have been sexually attracted to both men and women. I have had sex with both, more so with men but mostly because only my closest friends know I'm bisexual, wich makes coming together with someone of the same sex somewhat complicated. I have enjoyed sex with both men and women on more than one occasion so I know that I am definitely bisexual in that purely sexual way.

What I am asking myself is am I bisexual in romance as well? Did I repress feelings or misinterpret them because I'm afraid of going public with my bisexuality? I have had really strong affection towards some of my female friends and sometimes think to myself when they tell me of their relationship problems that I would be a good girlfriend to them, that I would treat them right, I feel protective and kinda wonder how we would be together. I fantasize about having a relationship with a woman in the way that I imagine it as being so much easier, so much more affectionate and soft... Then I tell myself that I only think that because women get how women think, every woman says they should become a lesbian when they are tired of men, that I have never fallen in love with a girl. But have I?

I know that the idea of being labeled a bisexual by people whom I don't have some kind of bond with terrifies me. I feel like if everyone knows, every girl I try to be friends with will think I am trying to get in her pants, and men will think I'm a slut who fucks everything. Full on gay and lesbians are sometimes ostracized by hetero people but they are a close-knit community who support each other. Bisexuals are criticized and misjuged by every type of people, including LGBT. We are seen as confused, greedy, slutty, repressed gay or lesbian... That is why I suspect myself of repressing romantic feelings towards woman if there are any. I feel safe in accepting my biSEXuality because it is hidden, nobody knows what goes on in my bedroom.

I am asking myself, and you, because I have been in an heterosexual relationship for four years now, and we plan on getting married and having children soon. My boyfriend knows of my sexuality and even encourages it because he finds it sexy, and I have told him that I am only sexually attracted to women. He gave me a free pass to engage in sexual activity with another woman as long as he knows about it and it happened a few times during our relationship.

Now, I feel like I have to find answers for myself before I get in even deeper. If I am romantically attracted to women, then having sex with them, even with my boyfriends encouragement, is cheating. But also, if I can fall in love with a woman, it opens up the possibillity of a love triangle, which could be a beautiful thing. Now how can I find those answers, and does the fact that I'm even asking myself those things mean that I am indeed romantically attracted to women as well?

If someone reading this has gone trough a similar thing please, tell me how it turned out for you.

If you took the time to read this, thank you.
A girl who only wants to be true to herself and her lover.