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Bi-Romantic...?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Shinomori, Mar 15, 2015.

  1. Shinomori

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight but curious
    So, I’ve been thinking about this the last six to eight months or so. Mostly because my closest friend is gay and he’s been getting me to think about things I hadn’t thought about for most of my life.

    Even in college, before this friend came out to me, there were times—few and far between, but still—where I’d meet or befriend a girl and think, “Dang, she’s so cool!” (Or pretty, or interesting, or whatever.) And there have been a time or two where I’ve felt like, “Man, if only she were a guy—I’d totally want to date her if she were.” And then, of course, there were those times when I saw a girl on TV or in a movie and thought that she was so super cute, or was impressed with how aesthetically pleasing she was overall. I’ve had some hero-crushes on girls before. (I don’t know how else to term it. What I mean is, I super looked up to a few girls to the point I just wanted to be around them and got jealous when other friends seemed closer to them than me.) Do straight girls feel like that?

    I was brought up in a conservative household. Thinking almost any kind of sexual thought was looked down on, and heaven forbid anyone act on anything. So perhaps I’m opening my eyes to different ways of being. Or perhaps I’m becoming more open with my own way of being. Or both. I was exposed to more open and adult ways of seeing the world in college, but I was still at a moderately conservative school, so it wasn’t as much of a transition as if I had gone to a state school.

    All this to say, I’m interested in talking to you all here at EC about these things. I think I’m probably bi-romantic heterosexual, at the least, since I don’t really have sexual thoughts about girls. Though, I suppose I could possibly be bisexual, but feel different types of attraction to men and women. That seems fairly common, from what I’ve read.

    What do you think? What have your experiences been?

    I’m interested in everyone’s stories. :grin:
     
  2. Ninagrrl

    Regular Member

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    As someone who develops a romantic connection to both men and women but only has a sexual interest in women, I can tell you that it can be a very confusing road then just simply finding out if you are gay or straight. There are also a lot in both the straight and LGBT community that don't believe that romantic orientation and sexual orientation can be different, but as someone who has been living it for about 20 years, I can tell you that it is very much real. I, personally, was boy crazy growing up and therefore I forced myself into an unhealthy heterosexual relationship to deal with my unusual feelings. I always thought I was broken because I didn't enjoy sex with men at all but loved to kiss and cuddle and hear all those lovely little affirmations of affection. I don't think that orientation is black and white which leaves room for all types. All this means for you is that you have gained some insight into who you are and what you want and that can help you to more successfully find a partner that is compatible with you and has similar views.
     
  3. Jax12

    Full Member

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    Gender Pronoun:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
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    Interesting... Never really considered biromantic. I have feelings for girls, as well as attractions that revolve around everything but sex. With guys, it's only sex with a very limited and specific type of guys, but anything other than sex is not possible at the moment. Guys my age don't do anything for me at the moment either.

    I suppose I'm one of those people where romantic and sexual orientation don't match.
     
  4. Ninagrrl

    Regular Member

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    And yet there are some out there, even within the gay community that will tell you that since there is no data that there is no such thing, even for those of us that feel these very real and often times confusing feelings. Don't listen to that. Don't ever let someone tell you that it isn't real. If you feel it, then it is real.