For a very long time I've been questioning my sexuality am I straight , bi or gay . I've been in a long term relationship of 9 years and have a 3 year old . We are still together and live together . The last year I've questioned myself nearly everyday . I think of my self in a relationship with a girl and it's feels ok but that's just a thought we all know real life is different . Right ? . It's starting to bother me so much so that I spend every night trying to find a answer to my question . I've gone round in circles and I'm undecided . All the sexual experiences have been 1 3sum with my partner and my girl friend . Another is with a straight girl where we had secret interactions but that time it felt wrong and I was straight . I remember be young and seeing sex on tv man and women and would try them with the girls in my estate I was curious. As a teen I told a girl I loved her and wanted her to be my girlfriend . I have had relationships with boys but there wasn't really a connection. Until I met my current partner . I just don't know what I am or what to do next . It's so much harder as I have a family .
Would speaking to a psychologist help? I have, and it's helped me progress over the past months. The images your mind create are very different than reality, so I agree with you on that. Having a family at the moment must be very difficult, so I can't help you much there. But what interests you in having a relationship with a female?
Thank you for the advice much appreciated . I do need to talk to a specialist as it's not just my sexuality that bothers me . The intrest I have about being in a relationship with a women is that I feel more comfortable around women. I love everything about me women the way they are how good they look. It's hard for me to answer as I'm not sure . I've felt for a long time I'm not straight . Everytime I go to have sex with my partner it's mentally hard work . I keep my eyes shut and think it's a women. People tell me they see how different I am with girls I get that twinkle in my eye . I don't want to make any fast decisions but I feel I should end my relationship so no one else gets hurt but it's so hard .
I think you should start by openly discussing your concerns with your partner. Although it may be hard for the both of you, honesty is always best (it's also not fair to keep him in the dark). And who knows, maybe he has some helpful advice for you. It sounds like you are afraid to end your current relationship because of the stability it offers as well as the fact that you two have a child together. Evidently if you're making this post, you aren't 100% content in your relationship so I do agree with you that braking it off would be best, regardless of your sexuality. Once you're single you can explore more and go after what it is that you truly want.
I totally agree with the above poster. You have to be honest, if you are truly unhappy in the relationship then it's not going to be beneficial for either of you. I'm not saying end it immediately but being honest may help you work through the other issues. When you walk down the street who catches your eye more girls or guys? Do you just appreciate the look of women or do you imagine going further than that with them? How did you feel when you had your girl/girl experiences? You don't have to answer these questions on the thread if it makes you uncomfortable but perhaps think about them in your head. Sexuality and feelings are complicated don't be too hard on yourself for not having figured it out. I'm sure EC can help you.
A few months ago I did tell my partner that I had these thoughts and feelings . He wasn't to shocked but agreed he had seen signs I was into girls . He asked me then if we wanted to break up at the time I said no . It's not that I'm afraid of separation or because we've got a 3 year old . It's because I do love him . I just don't know myself what my sexuality is . His very open minded to letting me try things with another girl but my problem is I would want him involved to have fun . He has tried to help by showing me girl on girl porn different sites for women . Like I said before his very open minded. I find It very hard understanding how I can have a child then think I could be gay . At this moment I would rather block it out as it truly bugs me . But I've found this site and read others people post which has eased my anxieties and made it more easy to open up. My concerns are how my family would see me if I was gay . I've heard there ophions and it's not what I like . Maybe I'm not gay but bisexual I've lots of searching to do within myself and just be happy with the outcome . I aporeciate everyone's comments and advice it truly has helped more then you think . I've realised I'm not abnormal and others are like me . Im happy I've got that far .
Thank you for your comments it's questions like above that really help . If I'm out and I'm approached by a man I cringe get very uncomfortable uneasy almost to the point of having a panic attack . But with my partner of 9 years I'm comfortable until my mind plays games and I'm let wondering and questioning . I'm always pointing out girls with my partner she's nice and so on . My previous times with girls I did like but havent had a stable relationship . I imagine doing everything with girls sexual wise there are no limits well some are a no go lol . After my 3sum with my partner and my girl mate I felt so uncomfortable it's wasn't like how I thought it would go in my head It was totally different and in face I didn't enjoy it much but that could be due to drinking before hand . I'm comfortable around girls and even get crushes on them and so on . This is my first serious relationship with a man well my first . I don't know if I dislike men due to bring sexually abused for 2 Years when I was 10 and it's affected me I just don't know . On a happy note I've decided if I'm straight bi gay I'm going to try not let it affect me as much I've realised it's not the end of the world if o don't work it out straight away . Thank you all for the advice
