I've been out as a lesbian since I was 14 years old and I'm 30 now. I feel like at this point I should have everything figured out and not be questioning my sexual orientation. It's always something I struggled with. It took time to feel comfortable accepting being a lesbian, and being out to everyone I know and have their support, and having a "team" to belong to (LGBT) like I belonged somewhere. I would say maybe starting from my early 20's in college and up today I've had occasional sexual thoughts about men that grew stronger over time. I remember in college I went dancing with some lesbian girlfriends and I wound up making out on the couch with some guy and was still excited about it the next day but we all joked it off. Whenever i had these thoughts and fantasies I would joke it off to myself calling it the, "man flu" and never really questioned it until now because it hadn't occurred that often awhile back, just more so recently. And recently they've become more than just wham-bam-thank you ma'm fantasies and more comprehensive romantic/sexual fantasies. So I don't know what to make of myself and I really don't want to but it's becoming hard to ignore. It was so hard getting adjusted to being a lesbian and being open about it and finding accepting supportive friends. I'm not sure what to do or if I need to do anything and just wait and see. I'm afraid to talk to anyone about it because I know they'll either get excited like my parents having "hope" for me or just not believe me like I'm fooling myself.
What you can do is realize this: If you're with a woman, that's alright. Obviously, you like that. But if you're with a man, that's cool, too! If anyone asks, you can tell them that you you like "this person" or "that one", and maybe not the whole "genre". Don't let a few people "hoping" stop you from just straight-up finding happiness/love (pun so intended). Just don't worry about it! It's not like you made a promise to be lesbian, right? Maybe there's room for flexibility!
