So I'm trying to figure things out after being a lesbian for many years. I posted another thread earlier but I only got one response so maybe I wasn't clear enough about my problem? So maybe if I word it differently maybe I'll get more feedback? Anyways, I've been re-questioning my sexual orientation due to having increasing sexual fantasies about men. They are mainly sexual but sometimes romantic infused in the fantasies. It's bothering me that I can't figure out what they mean and what they mean about me and my sexual orientation. So I took a couple, more reputable, tests online (one based on Kinsey and Dr. Robert Epstein's test that is similar to Kinsey) and they both came out about the same: Kinsey 4 and 7.5 out of a 13 point range continuum for Epstein test but it still doesn't seem right and I'm wondering if I'm biased somehow and took the test during a randy time which could have skewed the results. Should I take it again another time and see how it compares? Why does this bother me so much? I'm a very analytical person and it's hard for me to not define things about myself. I don't know how to relax and just go with the flow. I hate not knowing who I am and what I want and where I'm going in the future. I hate confusion and uncertainty. Anyone else feel this way?
Tests could give you an idea, but if you continue to doubt yourself then I'm not sure if more tests would give you a better answer. I can't speak for why it may bother you so much, but questioning bothered me a lot because I have so many questions but hardly any answers, and so I go into a continuous loops of questioning with no progress made. But let's see... You've begun to have increasing fantasies with men. Besides these fantasies, how well does it align with your attractions in real life? In the past, who were you attracted to? Any crushes? And if you strictly put aside sex as part of the 10% of a relationship, what would you be doing with the other 90%? What reasons led you to concluded that you were attracted to women? Let's not forget that bisexual could be a possibility, and speaking of that have you considered bisexual as well?
I certainly felt this way before I started breaking through that barrier. I sat there agonizing, taking tests... sitting up way to late just thinking. It didn't start to fall into place until I made my way to the University councillors office. I wasn't depressed but being able to talk these things out with someone was huge. I recommend something along those lines if you can do it. As always I would say to take any test with a grain of salt. I had tests before hand tell me I was everything from gay to pan to straight. Also as Jax12 said bisexuality is also a possibility, I know a friend who is bi and they said it was really confusing to them because it wasn't so clear cut and dry as one or the other. Food for thought, hope I helped.
