There's this guy who plays guitar. He's pretty cool. I also know that he likes me. I get anxious and feel like I'm blushing when people talk about him. I'm terrified of being bi, so I don't want to like him. How can I know if this is just anxiety or denial? My normal psychological defense when I'm dealing with guys that like me is to be a crazy feminist. I don't have that defense around him because he's not creepy and seems like a good person. What should I do?
Hard to say, but what I've noticed between anxiety and denial is the "what if" questions that come with it. I think denial has to do with knowing the truth and not accepting it. Anxiety is (at least in my experience) triggered by a certain event. As you may know, anxiety is what drives OCD, but not everyone has OCD. Since you already know you have HOCD, it may be likely that this is OCD talking, not you. That's my 2 cents.
I'm just wondering about the blushing. I felt like I was blushing, but based on how my face looked in the mirror I wasn't blushing. Can HOCD make you blush or is this a sign I like him?
Well to be honest that sounds like it started with thought (we're you blushing or not), and then a compulsion (checking to see if you're blushing). Could be OCD, might not be. I am honestly not sure, because I am definitely not a psychologist. But there's a pattern when it comes to HOCD, so maybe look for that? And possibly speak with a therapist about this?
