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Sexuality changing over time? Also, guilt about sexuality?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by ava505, Mar 23, 2015.

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  1. ava505

    ava505
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    Is it possible for sexuality to change over time? Overall, I think I identify as a bisexual because I have pretty much always been interested in both boys and girls. However, which one I prefer changes pretty drastically over time. Sometimes I'll go through a few months of thinking "yeah, ok, that was just a phase. I'm straight." But not long later I'll start questioning if I even like guys at all. At this particular moment in time, I really like a girl and just overall I am more attracted to them. But I know that by sometime in the summer I'll probably be back to feeling more 50/50. I've been bouncing back and forth like this for 3-4 years, ever since I started having crushes. However, the more time that goes on, the more I find myself leaning more and more towards girls. So yeah, all this to say - can sexuality be so lenient?

    On a different note, how do you deal with feeling guilt for being attracted to girls? I have grown up in a very accepting community and never been around extremely homophobic people, but every time I feel really turned on my a girl I get this really icky guilty feeling. Thoughts?
     
    #1 ava505, Mar 23, 2015
  2. backpaged

    backpaged
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    You are just like me, except at some point I realized it wasn't my sexuality I was confused about, it was my gender. Sexuality is totally fluid and it won't always be the same for most people over time. But perhaps you're like me in that it isn't necessarily the orientation that changes but something else more subtle.
     
    #2 backpaged, Mar 23, 2015
  3. woahthatsboring

    woahthatsboring
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    I think for some people that sexuality can be more fluid than others so it's totally fine if you get those thoughts. I go though the same process like you. Sometimes I think okay it's just this one girl then my mind goes haywire and I start to doubt myself :/ so you're not the only one lol :slight_smile:. To answer your other question about guilt, I can totally relate. I'm happy to hear you grow up where it's easily accepted but for me it's totally not acceptable and the main reason why I personally fear coming out. I feel guilty whenever I think about the girl I like BUT I think it is because of society telling us "its wrong to like the same sex" and "you should be forced to like someone you're not attracted to" sounds crazy? Right? That is why I try not to feel so guilty about liking a girl because I can't help it. Try to think about it like that and it might help.

    Message me if you have any questions and good luck :slight_smile:
     
    #3 woahthatsboring, Mar 23, 2015
  4. Jguy365

    Jguy365
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    Sexuality is a huge spectrum. Most people don't realize it, but there is a whole laundry list of possible sexualities. Me, for example, I identify as gay but my complete and proper label is homo-flexible-demi-romantic.

    Take your time to figure it out. The bottom line is that, when you meet someone, love is all that matters.
     
    #4 Jguy365, Mar 23, 2015
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