This is my first time ever doing anything like this, usually i just read threw forums online but most stuff doesnt really help... I am a straight 27 year old female and my boyfriend whomis 28 and we been togther now for almost 2 years id say. We met on *** a dating app, I have never met anyone in life that we both shared this incredable energy between us. Even other people have noticed including a gay friend of mine who met him right after i did. I fell in love almost instantly and so did he. things were perfect and he had a great family and grew up really normal except years ago i guess he got into doing coke and went to treatment once and has been doing amazing ever since. I had secrets about my life and my past, somethings i shared about my childhood and past relationships things that happen to me and i ended up losing my job and i started to sell dope to make a little money and he found out and didnt like it but delt with it and then i started using (i was shooting up) and he ended up finding out and he lost it. he wanted to end it then and i was hystrical and convinced him to forgive me and i would stop. well i did for awhile then i started again and would hide from him and he just became obsessed with trying to figure out who i was talking to or where i was at all times and looking at my phone. when we drank together it would most always end up in a crazy fight. he would kick me out because i had moved in with him...and so it caused a lot of stress in my life. Its like he was so confused as to why i would shoot up and just took it to an all time extream in my eyes. i just looked at it like he hasnt been there like me and doesnt understand. he tends to judge a lot. well anyways he thought i was sober for a while and then found a needle when i was out of town and thats when it got worse, of course i can see his point i lied to him and i shouldnt of. i know he loved me and cares for me and i know its wrong. Anyways...we started fighting more and more and he would constantly go threw my stuff well he had gotten a new phone and his old one was at home and i went threw it and found "Shemale" porn; pages of it and "gay" porn; pages of it. I was so confused. i didnt say anything to him for a while about it until one night i was drinking and i blurted it out. He didnt deny it at all! He told me it was a quick get off...and i couldnt understand how i wasnt a quick get off...well a couple months went by and we were talking about sex one night and he asked me to do him with a strap on and i didnt have one so i said i would buy one and i did a week or so later. well when we were doing this i was scared at first and the one i had bought i thought was too big well he gets up ad goes under the mattress and pulls out a dildo that has balls attached to it! i was thinking what? you have your own already! well he ended up doing it to himself and i watched while he jacked off. we started doing more of that and then now recently i finally watched his shemale porn and did him with the strap on and i seen how he put the dildo in his mouth before it went in his mouth and sucked on it and wanted me to do the same....i thought that was so weird but i didnt say anything i was just going along with him. once we were messing around on the couch an din the middle of it he just gets up and goes in the bathroom and i noticed the dildo wasnt under the matress and open the bathroom door and there he was with it in the shower and trying to hide it and i just said wow and walked away. since all this started he has gotten tp treated me like shit too. he is so mean to me all the time. its just crazy some of the things he says. Now our lease is up and he wants to get away from me and he got a townhouse for himself and im still trying to find a place but its like i dont get it, he says he has never loved anyone in his life like he loves me. his last relationship before me was 8 years ago. he is so nice to all his guy friends. all my friends think he is gay when i have shared this for advice. he once said to me that i made him question things about himself. i dont know if it was i was just mad and ranting about the whole gay thing or if he really thinks he might be. he is just so cold to me whenever we mess around now its like i cant get him off at all. he wasnts the strap on and i dont know im falling apart. i feel like nothing i do is good enough and he even bought diet pills for me. i think maybe he could be gay and just using me as a cover because he has to much pride or i dont know what to think. he is the love of my life and i just want that back more than anything. please help me!!!! please... thank you :help::***:
Well, I don't know if he really's gay. Porn ain't a real sign of one's sexuality. But if one thing's for sure: He loves anal. Now, about yourself, I know that I'm an 18 yo brat, but listen, stop taking those shits. See a therapist or whatever, but quit that shit for ever. About your couple, I think that you should try to get things calmer. Tell him that you need to talk calmly, that it ain't about breaking up or what but that you need to have a talk in order to live together in better conditions.
Unfortunately in our society, as soon as anything touches a guy's ass, he's gay. Just because he enjoys being penetrated doesn't mean he's gay necessarily. Sex is about the person you're with not the act in itself. There are plenty of straight men who enjoy being the submissive partner in sex and being penetrated by women with strap-ons. There's actually a term for this; Pegging. That doesn't make you a homosexual. "Shemale" I wouldn't consider "gay" because if he's gay he wouldn't be attracted to women's bodies. You did say he had lots of gay porn on his phone correct? That might be different, but you need to keep in mind that the porn people like doesn't necessarily match up with their true sexuality. For instance, I know there are lesbians who watch gay male porn. Does this mean they are attracted to men? No. Have you considered that he may be bisexual?
Thank you both for the insight. Just last night i asked him if he would ever want a threesome with another guy and he seems really turned on by it yet he doesnt seem into me anymore. last night we fought all night before this and he is just so mean to me. anymore insight. i have considered he might be bi but how do know for sure and how to get him to admitt it to me. im scared that something happen with another guy behind my back and i dont know how to get him to tell me the truth. anything advice how to find the truth
Wow this is a very upsetting story. I must say it doesn't sound like either of you are able to truly get what you want out of this relationship. I REALLY think that you need to move on. Because you love someone isn't always enough, and it sounds like there isn't as much honesty going on in the relationship then there needs to be. It sounds like he needs time to figure out what he wants and needs.He shouldn't treat you badly especially since all you are trying to his help him figure out himself, however I think the only way that will stop is if you leave this relationship in the past.
He's being a jerk to you, you question if he's really still into you, and that stuff alone would have me asking to take a break. I know taking a break usually leads to breaking up, but checkered past or not, you deserve a partner who treats you nice! You definitely know more than us, but regardless of sexual orientation, your partner should be nice to you and love you. If you don't feel that's here, you know what you have to do.
