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Why am I attracted to father figures?...

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Jax12, Mar 27, 2015.

  1. Jax12

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    ...And not guys near my age group? So at this point, I know that I'm attracted to much older men with very specific physiques, and oddly so those are the only guys that I can get off to. It's quite possible that father issues could have played a role in this, but that's not where I'm trying to get at.

    Did any of you guys have attractions to older men, and slowly find yourself seeing guys around your age group to be potential dates? I guess what I'm trying to ask here, is did dating guys in general seem more realistic to you as time went on?

    From afar, let's say I find a guy near my age group attractive. As soon as I begin to talk to him, get to know him, etc the likelihood of a dating/relationship doesn't seem possible. It's like the more I get to know him, the less feelings I have for him.
     
  2. scxred

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    In my opinion, your upbringing may have influenced the type of guys you liked but I dont think it made you bisexual. Alot of people see the lack of a father figure as turning people gay. However, I don't agree with this because research has shown that in the UK 40% of Afro-carribean families are lone-mother families.. by that logic wouldn't that mean that black men are more likely to be gay if the lack of a father figure caused homosexuality.

    ---------- Post added 27th Mar 2015 at 11:36 AM ----------

    I may not have answered your question, but from seeing your posts about this I thought id shed some light on your attractions to older men. It's all personal taste.. some gay/bi men don't have father issues but yet still like older men. There doesn't need to be a link to your childhood and your preferences. Some gay men may have changed preferences in who they like, some may have not. Perhaps its your mind limiting yourself to other guys, perhaps you feel most comfortable liking older men.
     
  3. Jax12

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    Oh I'm definitely not saying that lack/abuse of father figures made people gay, I'm saying that it may have caused my homosexual behaviours, but not necessarily a homosexual identity.

    To be honest, if I was really into guys, I would have been comfortable with it by now. The issue is not being able to like guys my age group. I do admit, sexual attractions for older men feel much less pushed than guys my age. Then again, they both give me a level of discomfort (not the kind that means you like them).
     
  4. scxred

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    I was just giving my opinion about your homosexual attractions and how in my opinion, the lack of a father figure influenced your preferences in men but not necessarily your sexuality. Also, i disagree with how you "would be comfortable with it by now" because some gay/bi men never become comfortable with their homosexual attractions. If you don't like guys that are you age, its okay.. don't push anything.. some people have a type. Some guys only like bears, some only like twinks. Some guys are exclusive with their preference, whilst others aren't.
     
  5. dreamer2891

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    quite often younger gay men will seek someone to look after them, as a paternal figure/mentor etc. This CAN be due to not having a good positive same-sex role model.

    Also it can be similar to why younger women would want an older guy, they don't necessarily want to be the bred winner, and enjoy the experience of an older man, who is more likely to have property, to have more income, more social contacts etc. Also older men might put more into a relationship, they may take better care of there bodies and be more romantic and give more attention to their younger lover, as well as being more accepting which is great for the younger guys self esteem.

    Ps non of the above is wrong, its all healthy, and if people are having a good time, and its mutually beneficial - then go for it. But beware of abuse on BOTH sides of this dynamic sexually vs financially etc
     
  6. Jax12

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    ^ Right, I hear ya. I think the fact that older men have their shit together is why I'm so attracted to them, not just from a physical standpoint.
     
  7. Deadsouls

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    I am sexually attracted to older men because I really find them to be hot as hell. My father loved me and has always been there for me. It is not a daddy problem.
     
  8. Jax12

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    I feel like it is in my case. I know where you're coming from, and I do find them attractive as well. Something about their maturity and security that pulls me towards them.