Advice and Help on Bisexuality

I think joining your LGBTQ community is a good idea. When you think about it a lot of people in that community were likely in a very similar position that you once were. Most people I know that are LGBTQ are very supportive and accepting.

I really understand what you mean by making yourself think that you like girls because I did that with guys for the longest time. Since you already know that you like guys you could try comparing how you feel about girls to how you feel about guys. Like really think about the way you feel when you have a crush on a guy and ask yourself if you've ever experienced that with a girl. You could also always try experimenting if you feel comfortable enough to try that.

 

Hi,
you can't force sexual attraction. Either you feel it, or you don't. So maybe just explore the attraction you sometimes feel for girls. Ultimately, if you realize that whether one is straight, gay, or bisexual, that all of these orientations are equally natural and good, then you will feel free to just let attraction flow where it will freely. And it's ok not to be sure. This is a journey. It can take time and experience to 'sort it all out'. Be patient with yourself and with life. I think that your local lgbt group would welcome you, yes even as someone who is just 'questioning'. If they too are accepting of all sexual orientations - I would hope that they are - then it should not matter which one you 'really' are, right? And if you think you are bisexual, well I can tell you you're not alone...there are a lot more bi's around than most folks think.

 

There isn't a huge formal distinction. If you're bisexual, but only just really let yourself recognize your same-sex attraction, then you're probably curious about what that would be like.

If you start having same-sex encounters, you'll not be curious any longer...you'll know.

If we didn't have such stupidly rigid default assumptions that everyone is straight, we might well call people early in adolescence (after you first start recognizing "mmm, guys...oooh, mmm") "straight-curious".

Some straight people skip that stage, and move right to straight, just like some bisexual people know they're more than curious, and many gay people flat-out *know* they're gay. But for many straight people (male and I suspect particularly female), rather than just wanting sex, they are curious about what it'll be like and whether they'll enjoy it.

My question for you that *might* help you unravel all this crap is: if there was *no* social stigma against homosexuality *at all*...if, in fact, homosexuality was actively encouraged, and people just assumed that someday you might have sex with a woman...do you think you'd be looking forward to that eventuality?

 

Well I'm definitely not bicurious, because after acting on my attractions with an older guy, I clearly enjoyed it so I'm way passed bicurious. Starting to look into bisexual more, since it's the only one that makes the most sense to me.

I still don't find guys my age attractive, maybe that will change.

I find my eyes wandering off to attractive girls in a bikini, and in fact, one of my guy friends caught me and just burst into laughter, but also nodded in agreement. Do gay guys checkout girls the way I do?

The only problem is not being able to masturbate to girls anymore, which worries me that I've lost my attraction to women.

 

Like Jax12 stated, I'm well passed bi-curious. After the shock of having my first experience, I realized that I completely enjoyed myself, but I also knew I still enjoyed my sex life with women. At first I just figured I was hyper-sexual and thought I had a weird fetish. I figured I wasn't bisexual because I couldn't bring myself to kiss another man, even now I don't like kissing other men for the most part (occasionally with the right guy I will), but I enjoy sex with them.

Being bisexual is a very fluid concept; it doesn't necessarily mean that you are equally attracted to men and women the same way, that you can be romantically attracted to both the same way, it could just simply be recognizing that there is some level of attraction sexually/romantically and acknowledging it. I don't think that you even really need to have an experience under your belt to able to admit this. To me, it was really about surrendering to the idea that I could enjoy both sexes in a deeper more intimate type of interaction. Honestly, I think I already knew this before I ever had that interaction. All the experience really did was validate something I already knew I would enjoy.

 

Your last sentence really spoke to me. I think I knew at the back of my head that I would enjoy my same sex experience, and I did. I feel like I still have attractions to women, but compared to guys on a sexual level, its on a different level. Without forcing myself, I feel that I can have sex with older men very easily, but emotionally something is missing. With women, I still believe dates are possible, but I think sexual attraction doesn't come up like it does with men.