Hi! I'm a sixteen yo girl. I've never had a crush on anyone until now, I developed feelings for my female friend of two years. The thing is I don't know whether it is a crush or not...? -I feel 'bubbly' when I think of her -I want to buy her gifts all the time (I knit her a scarf, it was so embarrassing) -I could talk about her for hours (and I have) -I get 'cuddle urges' and I just want to wrap her in my arms she is SO CUTE AGH -I imagine scenarios of us doing things together, going on a date, holding hands etc. I'm still not sure what it is because there are other times when she just feels like a friend. Do crushes fluctuate like this? Do they grow stronger, then weaker, then stronger again? Because I feel like this has been happening to me and I want to know if it's normal. And I'm worried I might be demiromantic. I've known her for over a year, I've never crushed on anyone else, and I can't see myself being romantic with anyone else. Thank you so much for helping me interpret my feelings I'm really confused thank you.
It doesn't really sound like you are aromantic as you seem to be describing quite clearly how it's supposed to feel to be romantically attracted to someone. It's also important to point out that, as far as I know, most people only feel strongly attracted to a small minority of the people they meet, depending on their preferences, and having a single serious crush by the age of 16 is perfectly normal. Aromantic asexuality is much more absolute in having no romantic or sexual feelings. When I look back, it is very clear to me that I've always been aromantic and asexual because I couldn't even begin to comprehend why anyone would want to have sex or be in a romantic relationship when I was at the age when I was supposed to start dating. I remember being confused at 18 or so when I learned that my brother started dating as I couldn't really figure out why he would want to date anyone and be in a relationship. (He was 22) It was all a great mystery for me and pretty much remained a mystery until I heard about asexuality and realized that everyone around me felt something that I never did.
Your situation actually sounds really similar to mine, although I had never considered that I may be aromantic. I agree with Lost in thought when he says that you do sound like you're experiencing romantic attraction. I had trouble figuring out if a crush on a friend was a crush and posted a thread on this forum, but soon after doing so my feelings got a lot stronger. My feelings fluctuate like yours do, but as far as I can tell this isn't too abnormal. Based off of the way you described your feelings here, it sounds like a crush to me! From the way you worded your post you sound like you think you may be aromantic because you got your first crush so late, but I only got my first crush very recently as well and I'm only a year younger than you. I've met people who got their first crushes when they were in college. Don't worry man some of us are just late bloomers. There can be a lot of pressure in the LGBT community to label ourselves, but don't feel the need to give yourself a title you're not sure really fits you just for the sake of fitting into organized boxes. See labels as tools of identity and connection rather than mandatory constrictions.
