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Am I lesbian?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Ellz131, Mar 28, 2015.

  1. Ellz131

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Auckland
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I'm an 18 year old female and came out as bisexual when I was 16 to my family and a few friends. I knew a lot earlier than this that I was attracted to girls. I've only dated guys and slept with them too, but over time I have been questioning more frequently whether I am actually interested in males. Any guy I have held interest in has only lasted for a max of 2 weeks since I was 16 and it is as though I don't feel much of an emotional connection with them. When it comes to girls I am 100x more physically attracted to them + emotionally. I recently met a lesbian girl and we have been hanging out and flirting, it's a really new experience for me and it's definitely confusing for me. We haven't even done anything together, but the other day she was stroking my neck, face and hair and just that simple action alone made me feel so much more than any time I have ever slept with a guy. Basically, can anyone help me out with what I'm feeling here? Does anyone have any similar experiences? Can I potentially be a lesbian when I've only been with guys and never even kissed a girl yet?
     
  2. paris

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    Sure you can be a lesbian even though you've only been with guys and never even kissed a girl. Being lesbian is about who one is truly attracted to and not that much about one's behaviour because these two sometimes don't match. For example, there are many women "trapped" in marriage who behave straight but who actually are lesbians.
     
  3. Lyana

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    1. You know what you're feeling better than we do. That said, from what you've written, I'd say you were definitely interested in girls, maybe not so much in guys. But you haven't said much. Do you crush on guys, have you ever been sexually attracted to a guy, etc? Maybe also the "newness" of this girl comes with an intensity you're not used to.
    2. The first time I did anything with a girl was the most intense sexual/romantic experience of my life, and yet I identify as bisexual because I think it was because it was her, not because it was a girl. Just her touch made me feel more than my ex-boyfriend's most passionate kisses.
    3. Yes, certainly! If you realize you're not into men but only into women, then you're a lesbian. In this domain your experiences aren't going to shape who you are. The only requirement to being a lesbian is being attracted to women.

    Please don't worry too much about this, though. Just go with the flow and see where it takes you. One day (soon or not) you might realize you don't feel any attraction to men, or you might realize sometimes, you really do like a guy. Just enjoy what's happening with this girl right now!
     
  4. itsmary

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    To me, you are a lesbian girl. Just hang out with your friend and be happy, you are lucky :slight_smile:
     
  5. Emily1

    Regular Member

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    I came out as bisexual about nine months ago and just recently came out as a lesbian. I hadn't kissed a girl when I came out as bi, I was still unsure of what I was feeling but I knew I liked girls. After kissing a girl, I realized just how different it is from all my past experiences with guys. It definitely confirmed the few speculations I had. I would suggest that you just let things happen with this girl and only decide to change your label once you're sure that it's right for you. There is nothing wrong with being confused and identifying as questioning. Hope everything goes well with this girl, good luck!