Hi Well... When I realized that I was gay and not bi, imagining kissing a girl was really disgusting, while thinking about a man would get me aroused. Now, I can imagine kissing a girl without getting disgusted but well... Unlike with men I still don't feel any attraction but well it just doesn't disgust me as much as it did. Would it mean that I'm getting comfortable with the thought of being gay and don't feel the need to be disgusted by a girl's body to know it. Or is it that I'm still in denial and that it got worse ? Lately I've been debating a lot with people thinking that homosexuality wasn't right at all... Saying that I couldn't ever be happy with a man, and that I should "quit being gay"... So it may be the cause :/
Being gay doesn't mean you have to be disgusted by the opposite gender, that's for sure. Even though some gay people believe you have to be repulsed by the opposite sex to be 'really gay'. People can say whatever they want, you orientation doesn't depend on their views. If you are sure about your attractions, that's all that matters. It doesn't look like denial.
I've felt in the past that other people's perceptions of me and my relationships can mess me up. For example, I know what you're talking about with regards to having relationships with women, because I used to feel very defensive of my gay identity. The idea of being with a woman, or even looking at a woman, made me feel very threatened because I really didn't want people to see me as a regular straight guy. These days I don't tend to identify myself as 'gay' because I feel I could fall in love with and be with a woman - or someone who doesn't identify as any gender at all. But it took me quite a long time and a lot of soul searching to feel more accepting of my interest in women. Totally agree with MyLittleWorld though. Personally think the idea of attraction/repulsion is just another binary BS myth that attempts to justify homophobic/heterophobic feelings as a 'natural' reaction. I don't think it's a natural reaction, I think it's a social one. But that's just my opinion based on my own subjective experiences...
