So there's this guy, right? And once upon a time he asked me out and I said yes because I'm an idiot who does that and then there was kissing and then there was tongue. and then IT WAS AWFUL. And then he did it again and it was worse. So I broke up with him (too much stress in my life, can't deal w/ relationship rn) and went home and thought about how I have fantasized about women before. And realized I totally had a repressed crush on my BFF But I also went through some really crazy mental illness type stuff (yay genetics!) and I've never been with a girl and I don't even know how to go about doing that or telling people or even the sites to go to and OH MY GOD WHAT DO I DO? I just dropped the "bipolar" bomb, I can't come out. I can't be gay. It's not fair because omg I'm already like the freak of the family and ... I don't know I'm really struggling with myself. Please help?
Do you know if your family if homophobic? And are they treating you differently now that you told them that you are bipolar? If so, (unless you are financially independent) it might not be best to come out to them. Does your crush already know that you are not straight? I'm sorry that I had to answer your questions with even more of them.
Do you know if your family if homophobic? And are they treating you differently now that you told them that you are bipolar? If so, (unless you are financially independent) it might not be best to come out to them. Does your crush already know that you are not straight? I'm sorry that I had to answer your questions with even more of them. ---------- Post added 30th Mar 2015 at 08:24 AM ---------- Do you know if your family if homophobic? And are they treating you differently now that you told them that you are bipolar? If so, (unless you are financially independent) it might not be best to come out to them. Does your crush already know that you are not straight? I'm sorry that I had to answer your questions with even more of them.
Hi there. Let me first start by saying this: You are not a freak for having Bipolar Disorder nor for possibly being lesbian. They are also not character flaws. Please don't let anyone ever convince you otherwise. Honestly, I have little experience with relationships or coming out, so I can't really help you there... but I know something about Bipolar Disorder (was diagnosed eight years ago). Bipolar Disorder is an imbalance of neurotransmitters in the brain (genetics, as you said). One of the worst things you can do is burden yourself with shame for something you could not prevent. Not only will it be more difficult to adapt to life with the disorder, but you will also be causing yourself additional stress. Stress aggravates your symptoms, which makes coping even harder. If I were you, I'd try to take things one step at a time. Try to get things related to your Bipolar Disorder in order first, if possible. I made the mistake of pursuing a crush first... Things didn't work out very well. That isn't to say having a relationship is impossible, but you need a solid foundation. I'm not going to lie, waiting to confess to a crush isn't going to be easy. As for coming out, I haven't a clue, but my gut says to wait for now. Take heart, and remember that we're here if you ever need to talk.
Qgirl, you need to chill out for a minute! You're a not freak. You can't be so hard on yourself. I've suffered with depression and other mental health issues since I was 13, and a couple of years ago I was diagnosed as Bipolar with anxiety. I'm also a lesbian with weird closeted self-awareness (I can't stop telling myself I'm bisexual, though I know I'm gay). I can completely relate to this, and honestly, I wished someone had told me 5-10 years ago what I'm about to tell you: It's gonna be okay. I'm not going to lie to you, bipolar disorder is incredibly shit to live with - but you can live with it. Feeling unsure of yourself is even harder. Put pressure on yourself makes everything tenfold harder still. You need to allow yourself to figure all these things out in your own time, because you won't have all the answers right away. Honestly? You might find that you just didn't like that boy in particular. You might be gay. It doesn't really matter right now; what matters is that you give yourself enough slack to not get stressed about finicky labels. When you feel ready, try experimenting again. Only when you're sure and comfortable, come out to your family then. In the meantime, focus on looking after yourself. Don't let it all stress you out, you're more important.
My family isn't homophobic per say, just like ... religious. so like catholic school, chastity talks, the works (I didn't know gay people existed until 5th grade) I know my immediate fam would be accepting but I don't know about the rest. I just feel like I'm always the "weird" one who doesn't fit. And everyone has been weirdly supportive which has been cool but they definitely treat me like a time bomb now my crush thinks i'm 100% straight ---------- Post added 31st Mar 2015 at 09:56 PM ---------- I'm sorry about the problems you've struggled with in you're life. And thank you so much for giving me that sort of perspective because I'm trying to take three steps back and eight deep breaths but then I just think about how I HAVE NO CLUE WHO I AM NOW and I start getting really desperate. But I've got to take it one moment at a time.
Hey don't beat your self up for things you can't control it just makes you feel worse and nothing is changed its not the end of the world you'll push through it
You're not the freak of the family. It's okay. You're family is going to accept you. And if you wanted to wait before telling them you could do that do. Just because you figured out that you might fancy women more doesn't mean you have to tell family/friends right away. Take your time, look up more on your sexuality that way you're sure, then when you're ready you can tell others. They may not understand at first, but in time they should come around and accept you. You're not the freak you're just a little different and there's nothing wrong with that AT ALL. Good luck!
