Bisexual but Easier to say Homosexual

Let your questioning end. I exist.

Actually, I find your attitude interesting...it sounds like you also question whether *you* exist. You would enjoy sex (you at least think) with both men and women, at least under some circumstances. And yet you question whether bisexuals exist. It sounds more like you should be questioning whether homosexuality exists (I don't doubt this...but it sounds like you should).

So...if I have the argument right...you think bisexuals might not exist, because you're bisexual, and you think it's easier to just say you're gay. And yet your listed orientation is straight. Huh.

 

A lot of people seem to go with gay=not straight, and that works for me. Gay, queer, Kinsey 4, gay side of bisexual, bi, it all works for me.

 

Eh, I don't like that definition of gay. It doesn't just erase bisexuals but it also allows heteros to assume that all gay people are open to being with the opposite sex; which is a problem considering kinsey 6 people are forced/coerced to "try" the opposite sex every day.

 

And the usage of those terms also causes real gay people like myself to be constantly harrassed and sexually abused by straight people thinking we secretly like the opposite sex since some bisexuals chose to identify as 'gay' for 'simplicity'.

 

I feel like that too. It would be easier to tell people that I'm into guys just so I can focus my attention there.

At the moment I'm craving men sexually more often then women (and sometimes none for women). I'm a little scared with having sex with a girl though. I mean, I would love to have sex with a girl, but I guess the drive isn't as strong as... guys? If a girl that I found attractive wanted to have sex with me then I would definitely go with it.

As gay as I may feel at a specific moment in time, as soon as a girl in a bikini passes by, I can't stop myself from starring at them and that's when I'll realize that I'm not as gay as I want to tell people.

 

Also, I should add that I don't actually mean to cause any offense. I just think people need to stick to accurate labels for consistency and outright respect/consideration of other people you may be appropriating. I can understand not wanting to identify as bi if one is a kinsey 5 person; but when legit attraction to both sexes is there... we start hurting gay people by teaching straight people they have a shot at 'converting' them, and we also hurt bi people as we teach people 'Yeah, they really are straight/gay deep down!'

There's nothing shameful about being bisexual and there are different types of bisexuals with different preferences and even opposite romantic/sexual orientations. I'm not going to stop identifying as a gamer just because people link it with mainstream shooter games; I'm just a different kind. The same goes for bisexual identity.

 

I'm having a bit of a hard time with picking an accurate label. I sometimes notice attractive guys. I'm just not sure if I'm attracted to them. That makes it hard to accurately label myself. Right now I'm just privately identifying as queer. I really don't feel like coming out. I used to be out as bi, but I had a hard time with people pushing me to be with guys. I just hate explaining my sexuality, especially to ignorant straight people. That's why I sometimes feel like just calling myself gay.

 

I would just like to point out that this is making the assumption that all bisexuals/queer people are open to being with the opposite sex.

Somebody who is on the 'gay side of bisexual', might not be open to being with the opposite sex at all, so in away the assumption that all people who experience some form attraction to the opposite sex will automatically act on it, because 'yaay, nobody can really resist the lure of heterosexuality' is kind of heterosexist in itself.

Labels are there to communicate to the world your boundaries and preferences: gay/queer signifies that the person does not have interest in being with the opposite sex, a person who might be capable of being with the opposite sex sexually, but does not want it, is not obliged to present themselves to the world as if they do.

The fact that one Kinsey 4 or 5 person feels that calling themselves gay more accurate for *them* does not erase the fact that another Kinsey 4 or 5 person feels that for *them* it is more accurate to call themselves bisexual.

 

With regards to this, I am not sure what to think of your post OP!
You did not give us much information as to *why* you question bisexuality as real, and why do you want to call yourself gay, despite attraction to the opposite sex?

Having a preference and interest in same sex encounters does not invalidate your opposite sex attractions, does it? why should you feel like this?

---------- Post added 30th Mar 2015 at 06:08 AM ----------

I am somewhere around Kinsey 5 - and fully gay. However I can absolutely imagine somebody who is a Kinsey 5 identifying as bisexual, because their reasons for being a Kinsey 5 might be entirely different to mine.

Eg-I experience a relatively frequent mild/weak form of interest in the opposite sex, which usually gives me mixed feelings, and I innately can only connect to women sexually/emotionally, and experience strong attraction to women only. What makes me gay is that I cannot connect to men.

Another Kinsey 5 might have much less frequent attraction than me, very rare indeed, even 1 single person of the opposite sex, but they will be able to feel *full* sexual connection/attraction to them, and it will not fell 'off' or forced to them ( like it does to me), hence they will actually be bisexual, and call themselves that, because it feels right to them.

If we start dividing people into "really" and not "really gay"according to numbers we will run risk of again erasing some peoples identities.

 

I'm a Kinsey scale 1-2 but at any time I might identify as more straight than anything. You guys might want to argue howver that I sound call myself because I have an attraction to women and it's just that simple--- isn't for me howver. I think people should pick whatever sexuality they feel comfortable with without lying about it to themselves.

For example, I would be lying if I said I was straight because I'm not but if I wanted to call myself mostly straight then I should be able to without getting harassed lol:eusa_naug it can be implied that I like girls to some extent because I just said I was mostly straight. Take it for what it is. I believe bisexuals exist but if YOU choose to pick to call yourself gay because you feel more comfortabel with that label since you preferred guys anyways, go ahead! It's what you feel comfortable with and what you truly think you are yourself.

I don't think you're downing the strictly gay people but you're just doing what is right for you. You could call yourself Kinsey scale 5, bi, or gay-- you just decide at the end of the day. Good luck

 

I've not had to make any explanations to anyone after telling them I was bisexual. In fact, the only person I've really talked to about my history never questioned my liking girls and guys. Probably because he's been with both as well. He just assumed I was gay.

Technically, I am probably pansexual. I can see myself falling in love with just about anyone. Love is more about emotional connection (intimacy & passion) for me.

If someone calls me gay, I correct them with "no, bisexual" because I want to be clear I'd be with either (or all) gender(s.)

Should what someone calls themselves be material to forming a relationship with that person?

If you feel the spark/connection/whatever for someone, and they appear to be reciprocating, then what do the labels matter.

 

First of all, awesome avatar

Secondly, it sounds to me like you are probably bisexual. For a while I thought I was too but over the years my feelings toward women have sort of melted away. Not to say that will happen to you, mind you.

As the others have said, it sounds like you're about a Kinsey 4. Give it time & perhaps even spend some time with each sex & see how they make you feel. Sexuality is a weird thing & it can totally change during your life.

 

You absolutely know for a fact that I am not talking about people like that at all whatsoever. I am talking about real bisexuals, who KNOW and IDENTIFY themselves as being bisexual deep down, but they choose to identify as gay to others because It's 'convenient' for them for whatever reason.

I am talking about the equivalent of cis women who decide to identify as trans male because "it's easier for them", because "they're masculine girls who have fetishes for being men", because "trans is a cool label to slap on", because "I know I'm cis but I don't want people to assume I'm a girly girl so I'll call myself male".

These cis women hurt trans men since they imply that being trans makes you a masculine woman that hates gender roles; that is can be a phase to be cured.

A questioning or genderqueer person that uses the trans label is a different situation all together and doesn't have the same power dynamic.

A bisexual person who indeed does not want to fuck the opposite sex is still calling themselves bisexual.

A bisexual person who knows they are bisexual but chooses to identify as gay to some people- knowing it is convenient- while they consistently date and fuck both sexes and their partner at the time knows they are bisexual....is purposely taking a word away from gay people for selfish reasons.

These people are the reason why lesbians are getting harassed and raped by straight men because the straight guy knew a true bisexual that chose to identify as gay.

It's no different than a gay person calling themselves bisexual when they absolutely KNOW they are not because they want to soften the blow when they come out. It saves their hide while hurting real bisexuals (and forcing them into 'It's a phase/conversion type) beliefs in the process.

Which again, is completely different than a confused gay person who thinks they are bisexual.

I am not talking about questioning people and it gets tiring having people twist my words.