1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Bisexuals... One last question for you guys/gals

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Jax12, Mar 31, 2015.

  1. Jax12

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2014
    Messages:
    1,875
    Likes Received:
    71
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    There's one last question I'd like to ask bisexual individuals before I go on an indefinite hiatus.

    Did you, at any point in your life, attempt to suppress your feelings for the opposite sex? I'm at a time in my life where as much as I want to be a complete homosexual, I believe I know deep down that I'm not, and I am indeed a bisexual in denial.

    Essentially, I feel as if I'm being heterophobic and denying that I have opposite sex attractions, while acknowledging my same sex attractions. It is without a doubt not 50/50, but there's something there that prevents me from accepting a gay identity.

    What are your thoughts on this?
     
  2. biAnnika

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2011
    Messages:
    1,839
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    Northeastern US
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Bisexuals are rarely 50/50. It might be for you...but "without a doubt 50/50" despite attempted denial sounds like you're trying to believe something.

    No, I never tried to suppress my feelings for the opposite sex. I've pretty much recognized them for what they are at each stage...present, but unimportant; then present, but significant; significant but unimportant; significant and annoying; then just significant and frustrating.

    I see no point in denying feelings. That just ruins your capacity to feel generally.
     
  3. ForNarnia

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2014
    Messages:
    242
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Unknown
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Not many Bi/Pan people feel attraction for all genders equally, what matters is that the attraction is there.
    The best way to go about it, from my point of view, would be to stop denying them. Embrace your feelings. If you embrace them, and you still believe that you're not Bisexual, then at least you'll know :slight_smile:
     
  4. Deadsouls

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2015
    Messages:
    57
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Lancaster, Ohio
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Bisexuality is kind of a misnomer to be honest. It is not a 50/50 ratio between guys and girls. Some people prefer certain aspects of a relationship with a woman but loves to have sex with guys. Some people prefer the other sex over their sex but finds the same sex to be sexually attractive.
     
  5. Jax12

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2014
    Messages:
    1,875
    Likes Received:
    71
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I think I worded it poorly. I meant to say that I know bisexuals aren't 50/50. I guess at this point I'm having trouble accepting my attractions for what they are.
     
  6. tssoe02

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2015
    Messages:
    17
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Riverside
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    When I read your post, it seems to me that you already have the answer to your own questions. What would happen if you denied this part of your sexuality? How would you be different/same? What would happen and how would you feel if you simply accepted a bi identity as opposed to gay identity? Could you forego any specific identity and just be who you are at any qiven time, circumstance, or situation. I think if you can answer some of these questions, then you know deep down what is right for you.

    Good Luck :slight_smile:
     
  7. kindy14

    kindy14 Guest

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2014
    Messages:
    788
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Indianapolis, IN
    Gender:
    Male
    Well, I would say you are having trouble accepting a gay identity, because deep down you know you are bisexual. The attraction to the opposite sex will always be there, you can choose not to act on it. That may change your external identification, but your internal label will always be bisexual.

    Now, I say love the soul, not the meatbag it's in... The meatbag is a fun thing to play with, but the intense connection to a soul means more. To me...
     
  8. Jax12

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2014
    Messages:
    1,875
    Likes Received:
    71
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Kindy14, you may be right. How do you realize that you were pansexual rather than bisexual? How did you distinguish between the two? Is it based on the soul like you described?
     
  9. Ditz

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2012
    Messages:
    372
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    South Africa
    Someone else that's in the same boat!!!

    I can't truly identify with a Gay label either because a part of me is attracted to girls... And no its not a 50/50 thing either, definitely pay more attention to guys than girls but what can one do?

    In the end you can't help with whom you fall in love with and that in the end will determine whether I end up with a guy or girl, so what does that make me? I mean I don't feel like I have to have relationships or sex with both to live a full and fulfilled life but trying to explain to someone that you're really Bi and can't help or have a choice with whom you fall in love with is a difficult nut to crack because the general point of view is, then why aren't you just straight? I mean you have a choice then right??? Thing is you don't...

    After years in the closet to my family and vermintly denying that I was Gay to my friends who didn't buy the Bi label I claimed to be and took the general viewpoint that I was just a closeted gayboy in denial I met a guy whom I fell in love with. So, first time I actually ever been emotionally involved with anyone to the point where he is my other half and I still can't get myself to call myself Gay.

    Parents found out, so I had to out myself as Gay to them because heaven forbid trying to explain Bi to them wasn't an option, it was and is already the end of the World because my guy wasn't just a guy, but happened to be from a difarent culture and race. How the hell does that happen, I don't know... You can't help who you fall for right?

    So yup, I hear you and know exactly how you feel.
     
  10. kindy14

    kindy14 Guest

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2014
    Messages:
    788
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Indianapolis, IN
    Gender:
    Male
    Well, the pan label is because I could see myself falling for a transgender if the connection was there. That hasn't been put to the test, but I find myself falling in love with the personality over physical attributes.

    I don't bug about the label because when your heart feels the connection it feels it. A label of gay isn't going to stop you from falling for the one if she's a women, you are attracted to her, and want to be with them.
     
  11. Jax12

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2014
    Messages:
    1,875
    Likes Received:
    71
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I wouldn't mind dating a transgender as well. Physical attraction is definitely something I consider, but a lot of times if they don't have the personality that fits with mine, then I no longer see them as a potential partner, if you know what I mean.
     
  12. scub

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2014
    Messages:
    104
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    I do and still do. i consider myself bi.. i find women attractive (and sexually) but i prefer to just see myself as gay. i just can't seem to find any form of independence with opposite sex relationships., i often relate more with same sex individuals, so i tend to avoid the other side of me because of this.
     
  13. Pret Allez

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2012
    Messages:
    6,785
    Likes Received:
    67
    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Well, sweetie, my experience is sort of like this. I would go back and forth in requestioning ("Am I really gay?" "No, I think I might actually be straight.") and having my desire reverse polarity from time to time. I would say I did somewhat suppress my desire, but I only suppressed it for men. I did not supress my desire for women. Once I stopped questioning and accepted bisexuality, I stopped suppressing my desire for men.

    I know you've had a long struggle with things, but I guess I'd like to emphasize one last time, especially since you're implying that you're going to leave, please just have fun with your sexuality. If I can't give you anything else, I just want you to be empowered to have fun. Can you do that for me? :kiss:
     
  14. Jax12

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2014
    Messages:
    1,875
    Likes Received:
    71
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    To be honest, I've tried to suppress my so-called attractions for girls. I'll talk with my guy friends about how sexually attractive they are (not because to fit in, but because I truly think they are attractive). However groin responses have been limited, and this worries me that my attractions to girls is disappearing.

    Therefore, I just hope that these attractions to girls is a phase, where in the end I'll only see guys as potential partners. I find that my attractions to men is obvious, and that I enjoy having sex with them, so with that said, it would be easier for me to tell people that I'm gay, even though I don't really think I am. In the end of the day, I still look at a girl with a nice ass and boobs.

    Going on a hiatus here on out for a bit. Peace guys, and thanks for all the help.
     
    #14 Jax12, Apr 1, 2015
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2015
  15. Deadsouls

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2015
    Messages:
    57
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Lancaster, Ohio
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Repression can also be a factor in someone's bisexuality, look at Elton John for example. He married a woman before he married David Furnish.