I rarely feel true sexual attraction. I think I've only felt full sexual attraction four or five times. I also have a habit of looking away from attractive people and I have mental health issues like anxiety, depression and possible OCD. How can I tell if my issues are causing all of this or I'm on the asexual spectrum? I enjoy feeling real attraction. I want to feel it more.
Depression and anxiety can do a number on libido, so I think the best way to determine if that is the case for you is to work to get these issues under control. Are you seeing a therapist? One of the reasons I think it's taken me so long to realize my own sexuality is that not only was I very repressed, but I have been depressed and severely anxious for long periods of time, and so preoccupied with that that other feelings and thoughts were just not able to surface. Low sex drive is also a common symptom of depression. Looking away when you see someone attractive could be a sign you're repressing or avoiding, because it's exactly what I used to do, too. I'd find myself noticing a good looking woman and quickly glancing away, saying to myself mentally "Don't look at her, that's a girl!" I've been getting past this by allowing myself to feel what I'm going to feel, and accepting it for what it is. I used to feel a lot of shame and guilt for looking at other women, but I'm starting to understand it's something everyone does, it's harmless, and there's nothing wrong with it.
In my opinion, I definitely think your mental health issues are causing this. As TheStormInside said, depression and anxiety can lower your sex drive and very easily so, from my experience.
I can say with a pretty high degree of confidence that, based on what you've described, it's the mental health issues contributing to the lack of sex drive... as is the case with probably 95% of the people who call themselves asexual or gray-asexual.
I went through something very much like you. I was having a ton of issues in my marriage and it caused a mass depression, wrecked my sex drive to the point I was not interested at all! Also bc I was fighting with my wife and drawing on so many issues I have had with woman in the past. At the same time my sexuality ran and I couldnt even get excited about any woman for a while. I thought I was becoming A sexual and Homoromantic all at the same time. This went on for months, but once I gave myself some time, talked with my couselor, and worked things out with my wife, everything kinda fell back into place.
