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Am I a lesbian or bi?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by flee4517, Apr 2, 2015.

  1. flee4517

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    I'm attracted to women. I have a crush on a woman & I've had sex with a woman. But I also find myself thinking certain men are attractive. The thought of kissing a man doesn't bother me but sometimes if I think about having sex with one I have thoughts like "this isn't right." Help?
     
  2. Emily1

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    It sounds to me like you are a lesbian. I would suggest experimenting with men before ruling anything out though.
     
  3. flee4517

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    Is it normal to feel guilty for thinking I might be bi? The woman I slept with/have a crush on (we're just good friends now) is who helped me come out. And I feel guilty thinking I might be bi when she says I'm a lesbian
     
  4. Emily1

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    Correct me if i'm wrong but it seems as though you think the fact that you are bisexual invalidates the feelings you have towards this girl? Just because you are attracted to men, doesn't mean you can't feel just as strongly for this girl as she feels for you. Also, nobody knows your sexuality other than you so she has no business saying that you are a lesbian. She may, however, know for sure that you're into girls, but that doesn't mean you can't be into men too.
     
  5. flee4517

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    That is what I'm thinking actually. It's as if I feel like I'd be hurting her somehow if it turns out I am attracted to men. And I've told everyone "yes I am a lesbian" so I feel like I'd be a hypocrite or something. And it's hard enough being accepted as a lesbian let alone as bi. Very confused right now
     
  6. Emily1

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    I would suggest that you be open with her and tell her that you think you're bisexual (maybe hold off from telling other people until you are one hundred percent certain… just to avoid confusion). You should explain that your attraction to men in no way interferes with your attraction to her. She obviously knows you're into her so tell her she has no need to worry.
     
  7. flee4517

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    Well she's back with her ex that she's been on/off with. I'm fine with that. We're both attracted to each other but she loves her & I respect that. I've been able to curb my feelings for her. I'm still attracted to her but I'm not letting it consume me. But here lately I have really noticed myself doing double takes when I see a guy who has a certain look--stocky/strong
     
  8. magicalkat

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    So I am struggling with if I am lesbian or bi and I have never even been with a women but I was explaining to my friend that I find some guys cute and would make out with them but having sex or anything dealing with below the waist repulses me with guys so you are not alone. My friend told me I am "aesthetically bi but keep that way thing away from me" and that she who identifies as lesbian is kind of that way too.
     
  9. flee4517

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    Thank you! Nice to know I'm not alone