Hi everyone! I'm hoping to get advice or any opinions as to how you process attraction. I'm 21 and throughout my life have been completely oblivious to the concept of attraction. It never really bothered me before because I figured it was something I'd eventually click with but it's ten years later and people my age are beginning to develop long term relationships or at least a semi-romantic/sexual history and I'm starting to worry that I'm never going to find a partner I'm interested in since I seem to be a bit stunted in that department. I have slept with men but while I can get off physically, mentally I'm completely bored and regretting trying it again in the hopes that it might suddenly work. While I haven't slept with any women I have hooked up a few times but again as soon as it gets to the actual physical side it just starts to feel like a chore. So despite all my blathering what I'm really asking is for any advice you can give - I'm too nervous to go to LGBT groups in person since I can't really claim to be anything whatsoever Is there any possibility it could be anything BUT asexuality - even though I've been single my whole life I really don't want to spend my life alone
Are you able to pleasure yourself, as in masturbate? And maybe you need to be in the right relationship to feel attraction. It could simply be a matter of meeting the right person. It sounds like you need someone who stimulates you mentally. It doesn't sound like you are asexual, since you say you can get off physically. I do not think you need a label to go to an LGBT group. They should be open and accepting of anyone who is questioning. As for me, I was always able to pleasure myself, but could not get off with men physically. It was such a chore. I'm with a female now, and can so very easily, but I feel it also has a lot to do with how good our chemistry is. She is not just any woman. It took meeting the right one for me. I thought there was something wrong with my libido, but turns out it works just fine with her. . Best to you!
Well, you may be asexual. From what you described you don't seem to have sexual attraction to people. My best friend is ace. Not on this site yet though. Do you have romantic attraction to anyone? Welcome to EC! :smilewave
Like Queero says, maybe you be assexual, but have afraid to be alone! You just have 21 years old, you starting your life yet and you don't stay desesperate to be single. Relax, know yourself first at all. Over here in EC exists a lot of people in several age questioning about your sexuality it's a normal thing! Anyway I hope you discover yourself and be happy, regardless if you get a person who love you or not. The most import is love yourself! <3 Welcome! :icon_wink
And sorry, for fear of having given you the wrong advice, were you not sexually excited to these men? Or just physically but not mentally? You said you could get off from them. Do you find you were excited in any way by them? Perhaps you could clarify that.
First of all thank you for the responses I'm enjoying the community so far and have had some very odd (albeit fun) conversations already! Um, masturbating is something I've started to try out but I've never really got into it - not sure if its a lack of interest or ability.... And I can get off as in I have physical orgasms with guys but mentally just nothing really wow is going on. I've tried going to LGBT things a few times but everybody seems to talk about it all as - 'I always knew I was attracted to this gender because I had a massive crush/stared at some part of their body etc' and I've just never really had any indicators like that so I struggle trying to explain it. Um, I haven't really had any romantic attraction but I have had eating disorder and social anxiety issues from a young age so I don't know if I like people and just automatically dismiss them because I'm so worried over physical/social insecurities or its complete lack of interest. I tend to run like hell in the opposite direction whenever anyone asks me out since I'm terrified of the sexual expectations people tend to have at my age??
