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Confused about feelings

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by AndySammy, Apr 3, 2015.

  1. AndySammy

    AndySammy Guest

    Hey guys.

    Lately I've been a bit confused whether I am or not am in love with a friend of mine.
    She's my only friend so I'm not sure if what I feel is normal friend feelings or romantic feelings. Like every time she texts me I get really excited and get kinda butterflies in my stomach, I almost want to go to school so I can see her and talk to her and I wanna be with her all the time. I'm thinking about her all the time too, and wanna call her just to say hi.
    Could it be because she's my only friend and I'm excited about having a friend, or could I actually be in love with her?
    I both can and can't imagine being in a relationship with her, but it feels bad thinking about it, cause she's not 'lesbian'. I'm trans*, so she wouldn't have to be but I'm psychically a female so she would seem to be.
    I know y'all can't answer the answer cause it's my feelings, but I would really like somebody else's point of view since I'm really confused.
     
  2. HiAndBi

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    Honestly, I myself am not too sure.
    Would you kiss her? Would you go out with her?
     
  3. AndySammy

    AndySammy Guest

    I think I would, actually, and it scares me a bit.
     
  4. HiAndBi

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    Don't be scared! You can't help who you have feelung for - I secretly love my old best friend ^.^
    Does she know you are bi/trans?
     
  5. AndySammy

    AndySammy Guest

    I could just mess up everything.
    At first I couldn't imagine kissing her, but I realised that what because of my body, cause it's female, but when I imagined me as male as I want to be, I could easily imagine it.
    She knows I'm trans, but she have no idea I'm bi, she thinks I'm gay.
     
  6. HiAndBi

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    I understand how that feels..
    A good thing about telling her, though, is that if she doesn't accept you then she isn't your friend, period.
    You could write a note or a text..texts are easier since you could be halfway across the world, and wouldn't have to stress about telling her face-to-face. The worst response you could get over text is:
    "HOLY [swear] WTF R U THINKING?! WE R SO NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE!!! :angry: :angry: :angry:"
    Still not good, but that's rock-bottom..
     
  7. AndySammy

    AndySammy Guest

    I don't know if it would be a good idea to tell her. She's 100% straight, and even though she once told me she wouldn't have a problem with being in a relationship with a trans person(that was before she knew I was trans) I don't think she meant a trans she've seen as the gender they were assigned as birth. Lately she've been acting really strange, like not been herself, so I don't really dare to text her at all.
     
  8. HiAndBi

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    Hm..what is she doing differently? Do you know if she's only acting this way around you?
     
  9. AndySammy

    AndySammy Guest

    She've been kinda rejective, like cold. And only to me.
    Came out to her yesterday - told her some stuff made me realise I might be bi -, and she just said she'll support me no matter what.
    By the way, I'm completely sure I'm in love with her. I wonder if I should tell her, or if it would just scare her away.
     
    #9 AndySammy, Apr 11, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 11, 2015
  10. HiAndBi

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    If she's only being like that to you, maybe back off a bit. If you usually hang out all the time, for example, maybe take some time and hang out by yourself. I know a lot of straight people get a bit pressured when they're hanging around the LGBT community - they feel as if they hang around someone often enough, that person might develop feelings for them. Having someone of the same sex/gender liking them might seem a bit odd for them..
    Perhaps she's trying to be a bit rejective. Not enough to break your friendship, but maybe she doesn't want you to like her.
    I think you should talk with her. Ask her how she is, or what's going on? It's probably not best to bring up your feelings for her just yet, though.
     
  11. AndySammy

    AndySammy Guest

    She've thought I was gay(liking boys) until yesterday, so I'm not sure if she was afraid of me starting to develop feelings for her. She've never showed signs of that anyway, she haven't had time - came out as bi very, very recently to her, though I'm not that sure I'm bi.
    Just texted her, actually. All the traveling stresses her out, so maybe I should keep in the background, while she settles down when she comes home. She's in America for Easter, so I haven't had a change to talk to her for real, face to face, but we text a lot together.
     
  12. HiAndBi

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    It sounds like you're heading in a good direction :slight_smile:
     
  13. AndySammy

    AndySammy Guest

    I think I have to kinda forget her. She always just hurts me no matter what she does and she's not even wanting to do it, it's all because I've got damn feelings for her. Great :/ Thanks for your advice! :slight_smile:
     
  14. Invidia

    Invidia Guest

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    Hey, I just entered here, but please slow down a second.
    First you say that she's your only friend and you love her - then you say she always hurts you and you have to forget about her. Please take some time and think things through. Being transgender myself, I know the feeling of being misunderstood, but you might be throwing away something precious for nothing.
    Take a breath. Figure out your own feelings. Then decide what to do.
     
  15. AndySammy

    AndySammy Guest

    I really do love her, but I think it's stupid of me letting myself get more hurt. I don't think I'll truly let her go like that, but I think she's blocking my view of getting more friends, 'cause I use like 10% of the time happy and with her and 90% of the time with looking at her hanging and having fun with others, and that just hurts, so I figured it'd be better to just let go.
    But again, I can't, so I guess she won't get rid of me anytime. I must just get over the feelings, but keep being her friend.
     
  16. HiAndBi

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    Your friend has to get the message somehow that you won't make a move on her...or at least, you should try not to if she's like this.
     
  17. AndySammy

    AndySammy Guest

    I pretty positive that she's not afraid of that, but just tired of me generally, but I think I'm gonna tell her something so she won't be worried I might make a move on her.