I have had troubles with a label for a little while now and i know not to "rush labeling yourself" but i can't help it. I'm pretty sure im gay but iv'e never had sex before with a man nor women. Could i know im gay if iv'e never had sex. I know that is probably a stupid question but im knew to the community. Then i think of the question of whether im top or bottom because ive never tried either. Ive never even tried anal masturbation. All i know is that i am attracted to the same sex. :bang: This is so frustrating. I just keep thinking if i came out to my parents and they asked if i had sex they would just then think it's a faze.
I know you already said this but you really don't have to label yourself. For me, when I stopped thinking constantly about whether i was gay/bi/straight/whatever was when I figured it out. Don't overthink it to the point where you are more confused than you were before. Just think about who you like, who you see yourself with, who you tend to gravitate towards, etc. And if you tell your parents and they ask about sex, tell them that's not the point and you know who you are regardless. You don't have to have sex to know who you are attracted to.
First, let me just say that sex is not a determining factor in your sexuality. As ilovesg said, you don't have to have sex to know who you're attracted to. It sounds to me like you're worrying over this quite a bit, and that is probably making it more difficult for you. The thing that determines your sexuality is who you are attracted to. So, if you are only attracted to guys, I'd say you were gay. However, if you feel attraction to guys and girls, I'd say you were Bisexual/Pansexual Some Bisexual/Pansexual people do have gender preferences, but honestly, I can't define who you are anymore than anyone else can. You're the only one who can say who you are. In the end, the most important thing is that you're comfortable. Hope things work out well and you're feeling more confident about this soon.
Like what ilovesg said, just don't worry about labelling yourself. I know what you mean though, we can't help but label ourselves otherwise we feel lost. Try not to over analyse. I'm going through a similar situation but I know its pointless worrying about labels. Who do you see yourself with in terms of dating or relationships? And who makes you happy? Guys, girls, either, neither? Who are you sexually attracted to? Who are you aroused at? Who would you actually have sex with and who excites you? Who do you fall in love with or get crushes on? Guys, girls, mostly guys, neither? etc When you answer these questions, don't over think it, just say your automatic response. Confusion sets in when the mind comes in and over analyses it all and this creates denial if you are not pleased with what you truly want, if you know what I mean.
Just when your ready, tell them that you are not sure whether you are gay or bi, or that you feel you are somewhere in between. I have successfully told many people this and everybody has understood. You can tell them you are still working things out. I was exactly like you a year ago and I felt like I absolutely had to label myself as either gay or bi but in reality its a spectrum and can take time to work things out. Its okay not to know for sure what you are. Perhaps you could say ''I'm somewhere in between gay and bi'' and that you are still not sure and still exploring perhaps? I have been pretty successful in telling people this about myself. Have you looked into ''mostly gay'', ''bicurious'', ''homoflexible'', or ''bi with gay preference'' or just queer or no labels?
honestly i haven't really heard of any of those labels. I will have to do my research. Where I live doesn't really have a thriving LGBT community.
that actually sounds good. I dont plan on being completely open until i graduate high-school in 2 years but at least this sounds like some think i might tell someone close.
I absolutely hate that whole "phase" thing. No one ever says that to a straight kid. As people have said above, your sexuality is not determined by whether or not you've had sex with the same gender or not. It's determined by who you're attracted to.
You certainly don't have to experience it in real life to know. However, experimenting did say that I was more of a bottom then a top lol. I knew what kind of guys I was into, and I was more sure of it than my attractions for girls. Know what's true for you, and try not to let other opinions steer you away from the truth.
