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For those who were confused, what was the moment that convinced u of your sexuality?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by medz, Apr 3, 2015.

  1. medz

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    What was the moment that made you guys certain of your orientation?
     
  2. suchconfusion

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    Re: For those who were confused, what was the moment that convinced u of your sexuali

    I had liked males for the longest time, but around sophmore year of high school when I was 15ish, I started liking girls a bit and I was thinking "I must be going through hormonal changes". Lo and behold, my feelings grew but I was just really confused about it. Then, I had a full blown crush on a girl, like any other crush I had in my life and i kind of just equated it to bisexuality. Still seems about right so far :slight_smile: Confusion never goes away though.
     
  3. nohalos

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    Re: For those who were confused, what was the moment that convinced u of your sexuali

    It happened to me when I had a huge crush on this guy with a girlfriend. He was awfully playful with me, I mistook it as flirting with me.

    That's the point where I truly realized I wasn't straight. I thought I was bisexual because I felt like being a bisexual will still have this "straightness" of me, but I was in denial. (Hello, patriarchal society) It took me some time too, to fully accept that I was gay.

    I guess if you're questioning, don't rush things. Give things time. Explore things without haste, you have time. Let the world revolve, let yourself be carried with the tides of the sea. Eventually you will know. :grin:
     
  4. Noodle72

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    Re: For those who were confused, what was the moment that convinced u of your sexuali

    Before I confirmed with myself that I am a panromantic lesbian, I was sort of attempting to fit myself into the label of pansexual, because I thought it would be easier without romantic orientations. I actually caught myself doing this a year before, forcing myself into the label of lesbian. And now, I'm a sort of mix of the two!
    But once I stopped forcing myself into the label of pansexual, I felt immediately comfortable as a panromantic lesbian. I don't know if that'll change over the years, but that's who I'm pretty sure I really am.
     
  5. Foz

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    Re: For those who were confused, what was the moment that convinced u of your sexuali

    I was 17 when I realised I could be gay, but didn't accept it until I was 21. I realised when I was 21 I had never actually had a proper crush on a girl and the fact I watched gay porn from the age of 14 was a dead giveaway. It was the culmination of that which made me just stop lying to myself.
     
  6. EpicConfusion

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    Re: For those who were confused, what was the moment that convinced u of your sexuali

    I actually didn't question very long. I knew I was gay when I had a huge crush on a gay male coworker who was two years older than me. The problem has been accepting that I'm gay and not having constant anxiety over how it can or cannot be true.
     
  7. LooseMoose

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    Re: For those who were confused, what was the moment that convinced u of your sexuali

    The time I had a first sexual experience with a woman, as cheesy as it sounds.

    I have spend years in a straight relationship feeling unhappy that I could not connect to my partner, blaming him for a long time, but the more I have read about lesbian experiences I started to question if it was me, and not him.

    Eventually I have hooked up with a girl (who later became my gf), and *wham*, things fell into place.

    Later I had a period where I thought I could still like the opposite sex- I can to some extend, especially emotionally, but I don't think it is based on sexual attraction as such and either way I've just lost all interest.
     
  8. ellyy

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    Re: For those who were confused, what was the moment that convinced u of your sexuali

    At the end of my questioning process I used to have moments when I felt completely lesbian and I'm not sure what triggered it but I think those moments of clarity showed up more often when I was more in touch with my attraction to girls.

    So, for me it was a process and it wasn't just one moment that made me fully acknowledge it because even if I it was very evident at times I still told myself that maybe I'm bi and not actually gay.
    Then I also slowly became aware that I'm not sexually attracted to the male body.
     
  9. Emily1

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    Re: For those who were confused, what was the moment that convinced u of your sexuali

    There was one night, I was with a girl in bed, and she put her face like one inch from mine and our noses were touching. We were just laying there and I felt this overwhelming urge to kiss her. I even told her that I couldn't be that close to her and not kiss her. She then grabbed my leg, pulled me into her and kissed me. I remember thinking 'oh, that's how it's supposed to feel. Now I get it.' Reflecting on how I felt in that moment leaves know doubt that I'm fully gay.
     
  10. nope

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    Re: For those who were confused, what was the moment that convinced u of your sexuali

    This is weird, but once I saw a picture of Lynn Gunn it was like an instant click.
     
  11. mindthegap

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    Re: For those who were confused, what was the moment that convinced u of your sexuali

    I don't think there was just one point where I said I am gay. When I started to question myself, I started to write diary and it was all more like process when I was getting more and more sure I am gay. It started with questioning if I could be gay and now I am at 99,9999%. Maybe I will have the moment when that one last part will turn my current number to 100%, maybe kissing a girl, finding a girlfriend? Something like that.
     
  12. Jax12

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    Re: For those who were confused, what was the moment that convinced u of your sexuali

    I knew I was attracted to girls, and it wasn't social conditioning. But I also found myself staring at male teachers for a while.

    In retrospect, I was attracted to both sexes, and in different ways.

    Then recently, I realized that I had crushes on a couple of guys at my work place, and since then I've realized holy shit I actually like guys and girls. And so that left me with bisexual with fluctuating preferences. Things may change, but right now that's how I feel.

    Being open minded about your sexuality would benefit you greatly, and avoid suppressing your desires, as that pushes you further away from the truth.
     
  13. guitar

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    Re: For those who were confused, what was the moment that convinced u of your sexuali

    For me it years to gradually climb "gay hill" when I was questioning & confused. When I finally kissed a guy it was like "ahhh, okay, so this is it then." That was the final confirmation.
     
  14. YuriBunny

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    Re: For those who were confused, what was the moment that convinced u of your sexuali

    [​IMG]

    Er, um, something like that.

    Kinda hard to think of a specific moment. I think it was the time I accidentally referred to myself as gay (I thought I was probably bisexual) and then realized that it felt more accurate and honest.
     
  15. hephzibah

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    Re: For those who were confused, what was the moment that convinced u of your sexuali

    I've always been attracted to guys, so that was no question. Then last year (almost to the day!), there was a gay speaker that came to my school and after listening to his story, I got to thinking about how I also had attractions to girls growing up. I had tried to suppress those feelings, but after that talk, I realized that I couldn't deny it any more; I was bisexual, attracted to males and females.
     
  16. Queero

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    Re: For those who were confused, what was the moment that convinced u of your sexuali

    It wasn't any one moment, but a series of now that I think about it, "how did you not know" moments.

    I thought I was just supportive of gay people. But I started referring to gay people as a whole as "we" in my head. That should have been a time when I realized, but it still took me a while. I can be slow.
     
  17. Lone Dragon

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    Re: For those who were confused, what was the moment that convinced u of your sexuali

    For me as a kid I really thought I like girls, but then I think that may have been because society kind of made me think I should.

    It was really early when I knew I was gay, like third grade, but I didn't really know what that meant during those times. It wasn't until middle school where I always was looking at guys, but in like a different way then girls. For me it was kind of just this drastic difference between OMG this guy looks cute and this girl is just a really pretty girl.
     
  18. BryanM

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    Re: For those who were confused, what was the moment that convinced u of your sexuali

    I basically knew I was gay when I was 11 and 12, but wasn't even close to admitting it. The first time I knew for sure when I was gay was when I was 13, when I kissed another boy. It wasn't until I was 14 when I was finally able to say "I'm gay" out loud, though. I'm sure others might know what I'm talking about with this one, but it felt like a physical knot in my throat that wouldn't let me talk.
     
  19. Kaiser

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    Re: For those who were confused, what was the moment that convinced u of your sexuali

    It was pretty simple for me, when it came to women. I knew I liked them... I just hadn't quite understood why that attraction felt stronger. Later I realized, oh, I'm transgender.

    With men, I could tell who was attractive, but didn't go too deep into it. But when I kept noticing attractive men, it started to click with me that, maybe, I liked guys. Eventually, by comparing how I felt towards women with men, things started coming into focus.

    Boring, I know.
     
  20. chocolate dream

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    Re: For those who were confused, what was the moment that convinced u of your sexuali

    Id been attracted to women for a few years but was still confused about it.Maybe i was bi or it was just a phase i was going through.But when i was 16 i had a massive crush on a woman at work.And from then on i just knew.