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Stressfully unsure if I'm bisexual?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by suchconfusion, Apr 3, 2015.

  1. suchconfusion

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    Hello!! This is a bit of a mess, but I'll try to keep my train of thought neat.

    Basically, I started liking girls, or acknowledging it about 1 1/2 years ago. I've oriented as bisexual for the past few months but I literally spend almost every day questioning myself. Honestly, it stressed me out A LOT. Part of it is because I'm afraid I'm influencing my own thoughts and can't accurately judge how I feel. In short, I'm sexually attracted to girls though I've crushed on guys my whole life. I lean more towards girls now, but i feel like my feelings fluctuate so much that its really confusing. I've never had a crush on a girl for their personality, but I'm afraid I'm not capable of having a romantic relationship with a girl. Sure, I can picture it in my head, but I'm so scared that when it comes down to it, I won't be able to feel the same way in a romantic relationship. And I'm very nervous that its hormonal since I'm still a teen and sometimes I feel unable to have sexual/romantic interest in girls as though my feelings for girls are temporary ( I should note that even when my feels for girls go away, my feelings towards guys come back, which is strange?) ...

    I feel like I don't fit under a label. Everyone always say not to label cause its limiting, but labels feel so secure :tears: I want to say I'm bi but sometimes I feel less than bi. But then more than bicurious. And like I said, my interests are subject to so many fluctuations idk what to think at this point. Like when you say a word over and over again until it doesn't sound like anything anymore.

    Sorry this is sort of long. Not even sure if I'm even looking for advice, maybe just consolation :/ Thanks guys
     
  2. Cara33

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    Re: Stressfully unsure if I'm bisexual

    You are most likely bi if you are attracted to both females and males.from what your saying sounds like you are more into men then woman. It happens. I for example thought I was gay for years then something happened and I realized I'm bi and attracted to both. Good luck and try not to over think it, you are who you are. I had a hard time at first when I realized I was bi but just figure hay got to be who you are.
     
  3. suchconfusion

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    Re: Stressfully unsure if I'm bisexual

    Waa yeah you're right, I shouldn't over think it. I don't know about being more attracted to men though. That's part of why I'm so confused, because my feelings towards guys just vanished. And they crop up occasionally, but I feel like I focus entirely on girls now. But I don't know if its temporary or if I'm just unconsciously making an effort to focus on girls because I'm afraid it's a phase... Plus mentally, I'd rather date a girl cause it just seems better. My fears just keep hitting me like a damn brick. AND THANK YOU.
     
  4. Emily1

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    You sound like a lesbian that's in the stages of figuring things out. Usually attractions to the same sex start off as being purely sexual and then later on, when you are accepting of your feelings, the attractions become romantic as well. Just to let you know, this response could be biased since I am a lesbian and don't actually know what it's like to be bi. It just sounds like the place that I was in just a few months ago. I always say this but it's just so true, you just need time and an open mind. Try not to let the confusion consume you. Just go with what feels right, continue to analyze your feelings and eventually you will have clarity. Best of luck!
     
  5. woahthatsboring

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    You could be a lesbian or a bisexual with a preference for women if your feelings for men are somewhat there still. The reason why people say not to label it so early is because it can be very stressful and you might be very unsure of yourself. It's normal. And although the label feels secure, you want to make sure you're comfortable with it first before you take on something that's new to you. Take your time and sort out your feelings. When you think you have your feelings all sorted out then evaluate them. Good luck :slight_smile:
     
  6. suchconfusion

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    Thank you so much! And I really hope you're right because any sort of clarity would be so amazing because this is ridiculously frustrating :frowning2:

    ---------- Post added 7th Apr 2015 at 10:24 PM ----------

    Thanks :/ you're right, it's probably better to lay off labels. It's just something I do unconsciously and I can stop, but it's always there. And the label is very stressful cause I feel like I sort of fit but don't. It's so hard to figure out who I want to date.
     
  7. zona

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    i feel this way but with guys. Similar
     
  8. Jax12

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    For a while, I struggled if I was truly attracted to guys, and that proved to be true when I met up with a guy, and started to have feelings for him (of course I didn't realize this at the time). He basically wanted to be in a LTR with another guy, and of course I cannot provide him with that, so I had to let him go.

    It actually sucks a lot, never thought it would bother me so much, but then I realized this is what everyone in relationships go through. This pretty much confirms my attractions for guys.

    Come to think of it, I never really sexually desired women the same way I desired men, which leads me to believe I'm more gay than bi.

    Hope that helps. Sometimes, you need experience to draw better conclusions.