Hey i have realized that I'm gay and I'm okay with it. But i want to be gay but i have these doubts that I'm not and it makes me very confused because I overthink everything and i dont want this to be a phase. I think maybe i am holding onto this thought it is a phase so i dont have to come out to my overly religious family and to my friends at my church. and before 7th grade I didn't really think about being gay and when i look back I didn't 'act' gay as a child so that also makes me worry that it is a phase
As long you realize who you are and what you want out of life, nothing can be a phase. If this is who you are, then this is who you are. If for whatever reason, who you are changes over time, that doesn't mean that this was a phase; it means that you were growing into the person you were meant to be. Don't let anyone or anything convince you that your reality is a phase.
I understand that feeling really well actually. As far as my friends go, my sexuality has become a part of me that I don't want gone. Maybe it's because people would think of me as a liar, I'm not really sure. That being said, I get those doubts too. And I've personally come to realize that my sexuality isn't as black and white as I thought it was. Some days I feel pretty gay, other times not so much. Either way, it's not a phase, it's you.
I struggle with that too but I'm already out to my immediate family. I think it's just part of the bargaining/denial process. Your mind is trying to make up reasons as to why you can't possibly be gay even though you are. There's really no such thing as "acting gay". I never acted like a gay stereotype when I was younger either. That's totally irrelevant.
I'm going to repeat what so many here on EC have said… The only thing common to all gay people is the fact that they are attracted to the same gender. That is it and that is all. Any other stereotypes, as EpicConfusion said, are totally irrelevant. I agree with EpicConfusion that this is part bargaining/denial process. Although sexuality is fluid, you rarely here of people who are only temporarily gay. If you are attracted to guys now, chances are you will be attracted to them in the future.
For a while, I knew I had attractions to guys but somehow could not shut out my attractions for girls, and the more I tried to do it the more difficult it became. So it became more difficult to identify as gay because of my attractions to girls. For now, I've settled on bisexual because I know I have attractions to both sexes, and in different ways.
