I'm a bit hesitant to share information about myself, but I guess somewhat necessary : I'm a nearly 30 years old guy, and this might seem strange but I've never had any sexual relationship with anyone until now. I was never attracted to girls my friends would 'point out to me' ( which they found to be hot but I never even noticed ) , and it's been years now that my family and friends have been asking 'are you seeing anyone' ( which is getting annoying ) Somehow, I'd made about my mind that it 'wasn't for me' . However, lately I've been getting these weird feelings when I'm around certain other guys. It feels good but then I notice it, and I feel awkward for having those feelings and just hope they didn't realize it. So I think it's fair to say I'm really confused at this point :-( So I had a couple of question, which I hope you can answer : - Is it normal that I'm only now getting these feelings ? Everyone else seems to be so many years ahead of me. Which also makes me nervous as I have zero experience ( I never even kissed anyone romantically ) - How do I go about determining/confirming my sexuality ? I don't know anyone who's openly gay and I'm worried about being found out. I hope my rambling makes any sense. I appreciate any advice you can give me. Thanks.
First of all ...calm down, second if you have been brought up in a very homophobic environment then try to think its normal and natural to feel like that around guys. Yes it's possible for someone to not have sexual attraction to anyone for this long...thats what is called as asexuality...if you do think that what you have for guys is attraction then its possible that you dint have it all this while because you have low libido overall...but either ways remember there is no 100% confirmatory way to determine your sexuality...at the best you can try dating people of either sexes and see what works for you...remember this is for you and not your family or the society so be uninhibited and discover yourself
Don't think there is something not normal with you. If you only met hoophobic people since your young age, it could make you hide your true feelings and they are getting on the surface at this point. I have similar situation here, maybe you can relate to this. I was brought up in christian family in very small town, I didn't know any gay people, actually I didn't even know there is something like gay people until my mid/late teens. As you said, I always tought that dating just isn't for me because I didn't feel like spending my time with boys. And when I started to think that maybe I should finally date somebody (because everybody around did), I was saying to myself and others, that I just didn't find the right boy. So I am 24, woman with zero experience as you are. And at this point in my life I started questioning myself few months back and now I am lie 99,9999% sure I am into girls. Not out to people, not dating anybody, I just know now that there was nothing wrong with me for not dating, I was just in an environment where being gay was NEVER acceptable. So even if I had any feelings toward girls when I was younger, I never considered it to be more than friendship, just very good friendship. So as I said, there is nothing wrong with you. Take your time to question yourself, focus on your feelings. What helped me a lot in figuring out who I am was going out among people as much as I could. And if you do not know any gay people in person, try to find gay people online. As somebody once said, tumblr is a gay heaven, it helped me a lot. I don't know any gay people in person either, but I found there (and some other gay dating sites) pretty amazing people.
Thanks mindthegap and fighter694. You have given me a lot to think about. I never thought of my family and friends as homophobic, but in the last weeks I've noticed they are definitely prejudiced, making offensive remarks and 'jokes' about gays and transsexuals when the subject comes up. I guess I only notice it now, because as I'm doubting myself, I feel those remarks could apply to me. That seems so heartless and self-centered of me. Sorry about that.
