I'm a tomboy-ish bi. Still mulling over coming out to family and most friends. I don't know what particular kind of woman I like. . . My ideal girl is kinda a tomboy, androgynous figured, with a short pixie cut. Breasts don't matter to me as much as overall thinness. I like femmes, and I like very soft butch (practically just a tomboy). Straight out hardcore niches terrify me, just because the ones that I've met so far are even manlier than a lot of men that I know. They give off the vibe that they want to hurt me... I know most aren't like that but the butches here are too tough and aggressive? I guess I'm a tomboy type myself. Often get called qt. I feel like I'm too soft to be a confident butch, too tough to be a sexy femme, too cute to be tough or sexy... I'm starting to feel like men aren't quite enough and I'm taking steps towards attracting other women. But I dont know what they want. .. and my gaydar sucks. ---------- Post added 7th Apr 2015 at 03:41 PM ---------- I guess in general I wonder if /I'M/ attractive. I give off androgyny vibes (and my sexual orientation seems a mystery because I'm too afraid to check out men or women and make eye contact in a suggestivr way). I think I'm pretty but I don't know if I really am...I'm too boyish to be sexy or feminine or masculine enough to fit categorization.
Sure. Everyone is attractive in their own way. Have you thought about making an online profile to put yourself on the market? You'd be surprise as to what could happen.
That sounds like you do. But you're not sure how to attract 'good' women, so, there is a cog somewhere. How do you handle conversations? Do people like talking to/with you? Do they do it a little or a lot? If you're having reservations, then you already should know, anybody else may be having them. It isn't easy to strike up a conversation sometimes. Folks may feel too stressed and that opening their mouth, it'll all come flooding out and chase somebody off. Folks may be concerned that they'll reveal struggling with something, be it money, sexuality, a death, etc. People have pride. Folks may just simply be shy, or not feel they have anything attractive to share with the world. Be 'kindly fun'. Try to be positive, make others feel that positivity. They'll find it hard not to light up and open up to you, making the conversation flow more naturally, possibly into a direction that says, hey, maybe this person wants to grab a coffee. The point is, you have to look inviting to invite others. You wouldn't willingly wander into a dark alley, when there's a well-lit sidewalk to take, would you? If you like to wear heels and dresses, that doesn't disqualify you from being a bad ass. If you like wearing baggy jeans and long t-shirts, that doesn't exclude you applying some cosmetics. You're you, no matter how you dress or act. A lot of people hear the word "sexy" and think of these fashion models. For some people, that's their standard of the word. Fine, whatever. But I have seen people who, just standing there, are nothing particularly impressive. But then they start talking or expressing themselves and, BAM, irresistible pull -- that, too, is "sexy". Dress how you want, be how you want. Be friendly, be fun, just be inviting, and trust me, folks will start to linger around you, and why not? Everybody likes to be with someone, who makes them feel valued. <3
