Gay men - was there a time you were convinced you were straight?

I've convinced myself I was straight a few times in my life. Once when I was twelve and in denial. My biggest excuse back then was that I'll be into guys one day. Another time was when I was fourteen. I was kind of addicted to gay porn and didn't care for straight or lesbian porn. I was convinced that made me straight.

 

I had my epiphany at 17 when I had my first crush and it was a guy, even at 14 I was watching gay porn regularly I still convinced myself I was straight then, at 19 I did it again when I suddenly found myself in a relationship with a girl that just sort of happened.

 

I never tried to convince myself that I was straight, I just thought I was. Reason being was that I didn't have any attractions to the guys I hung out with, and I could follow through with the girls they were talking about, and how we would want them in bed lol. So as you can see, seemed really straight to me.

But I also had attractions to older men, like staring at their body in general (ass, bulge, you name it). But at the time I didn't know what that meant despite watching gay porn. I was never homophobic, nor did I suppress my attractions to men.

 

I was until less than a year ago. I did subconsciously believe I was bisexual for many years before that but I didn't really know what that meant at the time. My same-sex attraction was little more than a fantasy because I thought I would marry a woman and I doubted she would approve of me having sex with a guy.

After a while I realized that I wasn't interested in women sexually at all. I also tend to notice women more. The female form is aesthetically pleasing to me and I find it beautiful.

 

I have always been aware of my attraction to men, yet I ended up getting married and attempted to repress those feelings. It hasn't worked very well as all of my fantasies are about men, I only watch gay porn and have recently started to go in gay chat rooms. At a later stage in life I am finally comfortable in acting on my true desires.

 

To answer your question - Yes. I honestly and truly, legitimately had no idea whatsoever that I was anything other than 100%, completely straight right up until February 2014. All that time I just figured I must be super picky. For 21 and a half years, I assumed I was straight. It’s a rather long story as to why I was so clueless my whole life, but needless to say, I was.