I know it's not 50/50, and I get that some people may have preference over one gender. My confusion is that my attraction to girls may just be a deep appreciation for their beauty. How would you define your sexual attraction for both sexes?
Interest in sexual activity with both men and women. Fantasizing about certain sexual acts with both. How do you feel about the idea of having sex with a woman? How do you feel about the idea of never having sex with a woman again for as long as you live?
Sort of a mess. At least for me. Different on the emotional level. Different on the physical level. Different type of sexual activities. Different all the way around. I know that I have issues with both genders, which are a world apart in terms of their nature. There are things I like about both genders. It's not 50/50. I would guess that a good number of bi guys tilt slightly toward men for sexual activity because it's easier to obtain. I've talked to quite a few people who say that. I heard that from someone when I started experimenting and then have heard it a number of times, said in different ways. I don't like to chase. I stopped doing that a long time ago. I can take criticism, but I don't like being rejected. I don't know what to make of this and mental health professionals I have worked with cite that it's not such a clear cut situation. They haven't given me answers. I haven't asked them for answers. That's not their job. It's a jigsaw puzzle. It's a work in progress.
I would love to have sex with a woman. I'm just not the kind of guy to initiate it, if you know what I mean. I would want to have sex with a woman at some point in my life. It's just that right now, as I type this, the desire isn't as high, or sometimes non-existent. If an attractive girl came up to me and said she wanted to have sex with me, then yeah! ---------- Post added 7th Apr 2015 at 10:33 PM ---------- That was how I thought of my sexual attraction with guys. Then again, it's probably because I'm more attracted to guys anyways. I find myself wandering off to girls with a nice body, but I'm wondering if it's just appreciation. I don't want to identify as gay and also enjoy having sex with women. That doesn't sit well with me.
It fluctuates like crazy for me. Definately not 50/50. I'd say I can romantically/sexually be with men, but I prefer females mentally. Yet my attraction to females is very unsteady while my attraction for men is always there, somewhere in the back of my head. Tbh it's very confusing and frustrating when you're trying to figure out who you're actually capable of dating. And theres the fact that I prefer the actual act of sex with women, but am more attracted to the bodies of men but not the act. YOUR GUESS IS AS GOOD AS MINE.
I suppose it's an interest that comes and goes. Thanks for the replies guys. I think I deeply appreciate the female body but nothing more. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever desired women sexually like I have with men.
Wow, yeah, this is me too. Definitely enjoying the company of men at the moment, much easier and more open to me. Women just seem to make everything a hassle, but that's probably just accumulated bitterness towards one or two of them. Still figuring things out. We are always works in progress till we die (although I suspect we continue on a journey and keep learning/growing.)
Jax, I am guessing you have never been with a woman? Dating, sexually or anything? Are you in a relationship right now? If not, what is holding you back from giving dating women a try? See how you feel about it. You don't have to tell the woman you are still figuring out your sexuality if you don't want. Just say that you aren't ready for anything serious yet. I usually say you don't have to have experience to know who you are. But you seem to be struggling so much. Why not give women a chance and see if there is truely anything there or not?
I've actually dated a girl for a short while, and in fact after I ended things with her that's what made me question my sexuality. I realized that sexually, I'm not aroused by women like I am with men. I'm not in a relationship with anyone right now, but I started developing feelings for a guy that I experimented with, and so did he. But things got complicated and so we left it at that. Then it started bothering me a lot, and I realized oh shit I actually had feelings for him, and this feeling sucks. Tbh I'm scared of being in a relationship with a woman, in addition to not being interested sexually like men.
Idk... I hope you figure things out. ---------- Post added 8th Apr 2015 at 04:05 PM ---------- If you know for a fact you are only sexually attracted to men, just be with men then if that's what makes you happy and don't worry so much about labeling yourself.
Yeah I'll go with that for now. However as I slowly come out to people, I don't want to give them the wrong idea, you know? I want to tell people because I'm sure of it.
For me, I think I prefer females for the relational aspect, but men for the sexual. I've never been with either though, so I don't know for sure. That doesn't mean that I'm repulsed by the idea of having sex with a woman or a relationship with a man or anything since I'd like to experience all of these options at some point. ETA: if I had to pick one gender to spend the rest of my life with, at this moment in time I'd pick a woman.
I've finally admitted to myself that I'm absolutely sexually attracted to women. It kind of interferes with life plans when you've always thought you'll get married and have a husband and kids lol. But I know from experience that I'm just not there sexually with guys. There's no spark. At first I thought just maybe I hadn't met the right guy, and then I started to think I was asexual. And then there was sheer panic when I realized that my libido was nonexistent with guys...but not when I thought about girls. It took a long time to go from freaking out about it to accepting it. I still appreciate good looking guys. I still want a family and kids. Now I've come out to my closest friend and she's been supportive, which is a huge relief. I mean, I know how certain people feel about gay/bi in the abstract, but it's different if it's one of your best friends and honestly I was worried things might be weird after I told her, but they're not. :icon_bigg
Jax - who is going to care if you come out as gay, then change your mind? Or bi? The only time it's going to matter is if you want to get into a serious long term relationship. And by then I expect you'll know exactly who you are. Concentrate on who you want to be, then find the label. You are worrying about finding a label when you've not experienced the full range of sexuality that you are confused about. Kinda putting the cart before the horse.
As of right now, I feel like I am sexually attracted to men but romantically attracted to girls. I could never see myself going out or being with a man. I wouldn't want that. But i have been curious lately sexually with them. I want to be with a woman when Im older.
Just curious, why would you not want that? To be in a loving relationship with a person, regardless of sexuality/gender, can be a precious thing. I'm just curious why you rule that out? Well, you and a lot of other people. If the attraction and attachment are there then I say go with it, but you have to live your own life.
