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Unsure of my sexual orientation?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by iced espresso, Apr 10, 2015.

  1. iced espresso

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    Hello everyone,
    I found this forum by chance and I'm so glad I did! Well, first off, I'd like to say that all 30 years of my life, I've always identified myself as a straight female. No questions about it. All my crushes and dates were male before this. But from about a year ago... I realised that I am very attracted to androgynous women. From tomboys to butch lesbians. I thought I was just attracted to masculinity of these women. So, I just let it be.
    Then, a few months ago, this lesbian co-worker of mine (who happens to be a soft butch) started crushing on me, and I started feeling attracted to her too. But the problem is, from mere attraction, it became a sort of obsession. She's all I ever think about, I just adore her. I still am attracted to men, but at the moment, I only want to be with her, to spend time with her. I think of hugging her, holding her hand, and kissing her.
    I wished I could say that I'm bisexual, but it isn't that simple. I'm only attracted to androgynous women, not femmes. Also, and I'm sorry to say this, I don't want lesbian sex. I'm not into boobs, nor am I into vaginas. So that's why I'm so confused.. here I am, crazy about this girl, but I do not know what I should do about this attraction... because at the end of the day, I'm not a lesbian. If we start anything, it'll go downhill from there real quick...

    What should I do? And what is my sexual orientation? Any thoughts?
    Thanks, everyone.
     
  2. Emily1

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    It doesn't matter that you're only attracted to androgynous/butch women…. you're still attracted to women. I would say that you are bisexual. Sexuality is very complex and it isn't uncommon for new attractions to surface age 30. If you don't like the idea of being with a woman or having sex with a woman, maybe it's best that you don't act on any urges you have. Even if you are truly bisexual, you will most likely feel guilty and ashamed after acting on your same sex attractions if you are not comfortable with them yet. I would either wait it out and try and get to the root of these attractions or proceed cautiously (aka tell this girl exactly how you are feeling to avoid hurting her). I hope you get the answers you're looking for, best of luck!
     
  3. 404dotexe

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    To me it sounds like the romantic attraction is there, but you may not have any/much of a sexual attraction to other women.
    I'm not exactly the best at giving out advice, but it sounds like you might be bisexual (towards men). I guess you can't be 100% sure till you try it though.
     
  4. HiAndBi

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    It sounds like you might be heterosexual, polyromantic. Polyromantic = romantically attracted to multiple/certain genders. Example: Men and FtM transgenders.