Please help and don't judge. I'm 14 and a girl. In the last year I've started noticing how hot some girls are and their *cough cough*... boobs and butts... sorry. Anyway just a few days ago I was with one of my friends and she looked really cute and then out of nowhere I started thinking about making out with her. I've always been straight! I have boy crushes! I don't want to be bi. Don't get me wrong. I am the biggest supporter of gays and gay rights. I have bi, pan, and gay friends. I have a blog dedicated to lgbtqa rights. I never even knew that it would bother me if I wasn't straight. I know my parents will be okay with it and I should be okay with it, but I somehow feel that it is wrong for me. I felt so bad thinking about kissing my friend. Help! I need to figure out what my sexuality is and if I'm okay with it. (btw I don't want sex with either gender... pretty sure I'm asexual)
Hi! Noticing how hot girls are and looking and boobs and butts or fantasizing about kissing girls doesn't necessarrily mean you are bisexual. You are only 14 and people contemplate all sorts of sexual stuff in their head at that time, it isn't unusual at all. I have a friend who was the same as you at your age, she told me that for a while she thought she was bisexual because she kept looking at girls' butts. She is 21 now and is completely straight. Girls are very pretty and everyone likes looking at pretty girls, regardless of sexuality! You are saying you don't want sex with either gender. But can you imagine actually being a relationship with a girl? Marrying a girl? Does thinking about that feel natural to you? If it does turn out that you like girls, you will get used to the fact as time goes on. It's normal to feel a bit taken aback by your feelings for girls because you have thought all your life that you are straight. So now you're questioning your identity that you've had for many years so it's strange to get used to the thought that you aren't how you thought you were. Honestly don't worry about it, whatever your sexuality turns out to be, you're going to be alright.
One thing you can't do is repress your sexuality. Embrace it. Our sexuality is an intrinsic part of our being. You don't become bi/gay/straight and you don't stop being bi/gay/straight. You can discover it later in life or know from the beginning. I never had a crush on a guy, and when I realized I was actually bisexual, I was crushing on a girl! Ask yourself this, putting aside things like "I don't want to be", do you see yourself with a woman? Do you see yourself loving a woman like how you love a man?
You're are so young! Relax and stay calm It's good explore your sexuality! It's not wrong with this. I had afraid start noticing boys and like then, but I see that this notice make me happy! Relax and one step for time! Maybe you be straight, maybe bi. Doesn't matter! Just be happy.
If you are noticing boobs and butts, then you are probably not asexual. You are 14 and this is usually when your hormones go into overdrive. My youngest is 15, almost 16 and she recently asked if it is normal to think of sex all the time. She never was even interested or thought much about it are 14, so it sounds like you are right on track. This is also when you are beginning to realize just who you are attracted to. Even if you are a steadfast LGBT supporter, it is still going to be a journey for you to accept yourself if you are Bi, or even lesbian. We ALL go through a personal coming out before we come out to others. It is normal to have both guy and girls crushes while your hormones are grooving and you are growing sexually. This is a huge period of change for you and will probably question for years. True, some gay people do not have any question, but to be honest, they are few, and far between. They are not the average. But also be aware that just because you are looking at girls butts, it done not mean you ARE gay, either. Your sexuality will go through a lot of changes and so will who you are attracted to. You may very well be straight. It is also very, very common to notice and be attracted to our friends first. You do not need to feel bad or guilty. My first crush was Lisa, she had big green eyes and long blond hair, and we BOTH had boyfriends at the time. I would help her comb her hair and braid it, but she never knew how I desired her and crushed on her. I still love green eyed gals to this day and married one with green eyes LOL. Date who you are attracted to, and don't judge yourself!
At age 14 I know a lot of men experiment, I'm guessing there is a similar story to be said for women. Also it could just be a phase. in the end, at your age you don't need to worry about relationships too much, same with your sexuality, I recommend you just relax and go with the flow, especially as relationships with people around your age never usually last. I know you might want to just know your sexuality etc to simplify things, but you can't rush, I'm in the same state except I'm nearly 18, so I've already gone past puberty and emotionally I'm nearly a adult (emotionally I've always been a little young for my age). Anyway if you feel you must have a label, i would consider yourself bi-curious, although I wouldn't stick to it as it could change easily
