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Am I gay or bisexual or something else?? I'm so confused.

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Ravienclaw, Apr 12, 2015.

  1. Ravienclaw

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    California
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    I think I might be bisexual, but I don't know anymore.

    I know for a fact that I like girls, but I'm having trouble understanding how I even feel about guys. I can look at a guy and think "damn he's hot" but when I try to picture actually being in a relationship with a guy it just doesn't feel right. Like physically the attraction is there but emotionally it's not if that makes sense??

    So far I only really have experience with girls, so maybe that's part of it. And I know that bisexuality is generally way more complex than 50/50 attraction, but if I don't even really want to date a guy should I even bother labeling myself as bi?

    I think I could only date a guy if 1. We're REALLY close already and 2. He's also bi. That might sound bad but I really can't see myself dating a straight person because they wouldn't really understand how it feels to be LGBT, and I don't really know how to explain it but that kind of emotional connection is really important to me...

    Ughh I'm just confusing myself even more.

    Does anyone feel the same way? And if so, how do you identify? I'm kind of lost here.
     
  2. Scifiguy338

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Australia
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I felt the same way for a while. I also would rather date somebody of the opposite gender if I were close to them and they were bi, because they would understand me more. And that's exactly what I did a few weeks ago. It didn't work out, but it was great to be with a girl who understood me, since she preferred the same sex as well. I have recently been saying I'm mostly gay, but at the same time noticing I am attracted to some girls, especially one particular pan/bi girl. But overall I'm way more comfortable with dating guys. Lol haha maybe me and you could be a match!:lol: Kidding. Good luck learning about yourself, I find myself in a similar boat a lot.:slight_smile:
     
  3. Ortensia

    Ortensia Guest

    So I dated a guy recently. We were really close friends, and he was bi, and I just ended up falling for him romantically. For a while I called myself bisexual, but it never felt right, for some reason. So a few months after we broke up, I started to question my sexuality more. But I realised thatwhat I felt for him was at least 90% emotional, and the physical stuff I mostly just tolerated because I liked him so much as a person. Physically, I only really want girls, so I still identify as a lesbian in that regard. But I think romantic attraction is a very separate thing, because I was able to fall in love with a boy. So I'd call myself panromantic.

    I'm trying to make two points, really. 1) you're not the only one with a confusing relationship with the opposite sex, so don't feel like you're alone and 2) you don't need to identify as bisexual if it doesn't feel right and you don't really want to be in a relationship with them in like 99.9% of cases you know? Your label is whatever makes you feel comfortable.It might help to consider emotional and physical attraction separately, as that helped clear things up for ME, but we all feel differently about our sexuality, and that could complicate it further for you

    Hope that's somewhat useful x
     
  4. Im Hazel

    Full Member

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    Location:
    Rural England
    "Kinsey 5" describes that perfectly (which is what you go by already). "Situational attraction to the opposite sex only" is what your post seems like. Really, it's best not to get too hung up on labels. If there is someone you like, cool. Their gender being different to your usual preference doesn't diminish you in any way.