How Did You Know You Were Lesbian and Not Bi?

That's right. No desire at all to date or have sex with a man. Not even a thought. That's how I've known I was gay since I was 12. Also I could only imagine myself being married to a woman. Even before I realized I was gay, I always fantasized about being married to a girl when I grew up. Then when I realized I was gay I thought about what it would be like to be married to a man, just to make sure I was gay, and immediately realized that didn't feel natural at all to me and could only imagine marriage with a woman.

 

I've had romantic feelings towards a boy in the past but I have no real desire to be with them sexually. That is why I identify as a lesbian and not bisexual, because I'm not physically attracted to guys though I may on occasion fall for their personalities. However, it is not impossible that someone with similar feelings to me might still identify as bisexual, you see- you should label yourself dependent on how you feel comfortable identifying, and not based on how others identify. Hope that's somewhat useful.

 

I realized I was a lesbian after I'd had a girlfriend. I felt realm passionate love for my girlfriend, and when we broke up, I felt completely lost without her. Then a boy asked me out and I stupidly said yes. Being with him, I didn't feel anything at all. Even when he kissed me, I didn't feel the 'spark' you're supposed to feel when you kiss someone you love. It was nothing like being with my girlfriend. So thus, I was a lesbian :3

 

How many have you kissed?

 

PHP:

Everything I've ever done physically with a boy I feel like I have simply tolerated rather than enjoyed. I have no experience with girls but I know and have known for a long time that my attraction to them is genuine and very natural rather than, as you've described, the rather 'forced' feelings with guys. For that reason I feel like I'd be lying to myself if I called myself bisexual, so I don't. Panromantic lesbian feels about right to me at the moment. But labels aren't important, so don't worry too much about what you should call yourself! x

 

have you ever kissed any girls?

 

Here's the thing: I actually WAS in a relationship with a guy. A long term one. Thing is, I ended up falling in love with this guy, and had no physical attraction to him. So I thought I would kiss him, in the hope that I would do that and magically realise that hey, I actually am attracted to him, yay, we can be in a relationship. Instead, as I said, I just sort of, tolerated it. It was nothing amazing or butterfly-inducing, but it was just sort of, nice. Nice enough to keep at it and be in a relationship with him, which I desperately wanted to make work because I liked him so much as a person. But the whole time, everything we did, it felt forced, and I'm only allowing myself to accept that fact now the relationship has been terminated and I'm forced to be realistic about it.

The bottom line is, though, that after that, I'm sure I don't want to be in a relationship with a guy again. It just doesn't come naturally to me, even if I want it to, and I couldn't ever truly be happy dating a guy. That's how I know I'm a lesbian, be it with rogue omantic inclinations.

 

I feel like I have some attractions to girls, but to me it's not enough to identify as bi. I know for a fact that I'm attracted to guys both sexually and emotionally.

However, there are times when I want to have sexual relations with women, but most of the time it's in my head, and sometimes the desire to do something sexual with a woman can be as strong as a man, but it's inconsistent.

That's why I identify as homoflexible, and not Kinsey 6 Gay. Speaking of the scale, I'm probably at 4-5.

But in the real world, I could just tell people I'm gay even though that's not entirely true.

 

Yep. I can't imagine dating a guy...I just have zero romantic attraction towards them. I've kissed a couple of guys in high school during my denial period (lol) and it did nothing for me...it felt so wrong like kissing my brother or something. As for sex with a guy, that idea is pretty much repulsive to me haha

 

Having sexual experience with both genders.

Sex with men was like, meh, kind of gross but it got me off so whatever. I didn't want to look at them or touch them or interact with them in any way during the act, I just wanted an orgasm.

Then my first time with a woman blew my mind. I remember thinking, "So that's why people call it making love." It was like the intense beautiful emotional connection. And I barely knew this woman, I certainly didn't love her, but being with her was a thousand times more intimate than anything I'd ever experienced with past long-term male partners who I genuinely cared about.

It was just such a radically different experience, no comparison, that I immediately knew I was a lesbian.