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I feel straight all of a sudden but I'm in a 3yr lesbian relationship.

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Emilio, Apr 14, 2015.

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  1. Emilio

    Emilio
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    Hi
    I'm writing in today as I need a bit of advice.
    I've been out as a lesbian for over 13 years. I am 26 and came out very young at 13. I've only been in relationships with females but I have been with a few males sexually. Although I didn't hate it, iv only really felt connected to and attracted to females.
    I've been with my current girlfriend for 3 years now. We have lived together for 2.5 and have a little dog together. We are extremely comfortable together and get along really well. We fight occasionally but no more than any other couple. We planned to get married but lately I've been feeling abit different and I'm not sure what to do.? I love her so much but I've been struggling with sex and she is starting notice and ask questions also. After her asking of I'm ok or into it a thousand times i finally gave in and admitted to her that I've been finding my self more attracted to males. I'm not sure what's going on or why I feel this way. Most people struggle to come out as gay, I feel like I'm struggling and fighting with myself to come out as straight. I have been fighting this secret battle for about a year now and it's really starting to affect me. I don't know who I am. For my whole life I've only ever felt sexually attracted to women and all of a sudden, I'm not at all. I have no desire to sleep with women anymore. I am noticing me for the first time and it scared me tht I like it. I feel only sexually attracted to males at this point and have no idea why. This is so hard because my partner is female. And I'm torn because I honestly do love her, and I can't imagine my life without her, but sexually I want something else :frowning2: how can I get over this? What should I do. She is my life but I feel unhappy.
     
    #1 Emilio, Apr 14, 2015
  2. bi2me

    bi2me
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    Maybe you are actually bisexual? I've seen ppl write that their desire can swing from one sex to the other.
     
    #2 bi2me, Apr 14, 2015
  3. Emilio

    Emilio
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    Possibly, that did cross my mind and I did think that for a while, but I don't feel attracted to girls sexually at all anymore :frowning2: even with my gf. Which makes me sad.

    Thanks for writing :slight_smile:
     
    #3 Emilio, Apr 14, 2015
  4. mindthegap

    mindthegap
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    Ouch and I felt confused and lost when I started to question myself at the age of 24.
    But to your problem. First, I think you made a good thing when you told your girlfriend. It must be hard for both of you, but at least she knows now what's going on.
    As I said, I thought that I am straight for my whole life (although I wasn't interested in boys) and boom, I started to question myself. I don't know...but couldn't it be the other way around? I mean, I thought I am straight and I'm not, maybe there is the opposite situation although it sounds pretty weird.
     
    #4 mindthegap, Apr 14, 2015
  5. bicomplicated

    bicomplicated
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    I think there is a very good chance you could be bisexual and perhaps suppressed your feelings for men because your feelings for women were so strong at the time. And now that these feelings for men are surfacing, this could be causing lack of interest in women and confusion. It is very possible for bisexuals to only desire one gender for a period of time then only desire another gender for a period of time. It is possibe for a bisexual person's desires to fluctuate. It has happened to me on occasion. Normally, I prefere to be with men only slightly more than women. But at times I have only wanted to be with men. And at times I have only wanted to be with women. I have had two serious girlfriends. Was as totally happy with them as any man and happier than with men. The first one we just driffted appart eventually... the second one I am still dating in a somewhat open relationship. Bisexuality can be a bit confusing. I am not saying 100 percent you are bisexual. You could also be straight or still a lesbian. Only you can descide who you are. And I hope you figure this out in time. But I just wanted to inform you of the fact that this could happen to a bisexual person for sure. But as I said, with time and looking within yourself, you will finally figure out who you truely are. Talk to your girlfriend more and talk to friends and we are here! As to what to do about your relationship; I have no advice expect keep communicating and yall will figure out what is best for the both of you.
     
    #5 bicomplicated, Apr 14, 2015
  6. Emilio

    Emilio
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    Thank you everyone. It's all so confusing. I just love my partner and don't want to hurt her. So very unsure what to do about our relationship. But I know my sexuality has definately changed. It's coming to terms with it that is really hard for me. Not sure if I'm bi or straight but not knowing is really taking its toll on me.
    But thank you again for replying :slight_smile:
     
    #6 Emilio, Apr 14, 2015
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