hi everyone i'm a 23 years old female unsure of my sexuality. i've read a lot of threads here and finally after going back and forth here i am posting mine and i hope i will make this as short as i can. well it all started at the age of 13 and that's when i knew that i had something for the girls, i did not know what it was but it was something special (something more emotional) and still at that age didin't know what the term lesbian or bi means. at high school i had 2 crushes on 2 different girls one who was my classmate (it faded quick) and the other was (well i still to this day don't know who that girl was lol) but i used to see her a lot around school and i used to stare at her everytime she was around i found her so beaututiful and so cute just i don't know but something about her attracted my attention (i never thought about her in a physical way) anyway after that i started to read some articles about lesbianism on the internet but to be honest i never gave it a lot of importance i thought it was no big deal at that time and maybe it will fade away although i knew that i had to keep it to myself and to never talk about it to anyone plus i live in a conservative and religious society. about 3 years ago i met a girl online we dated for a few months long story short i fell deeeply in love with this girl and i ended up with a broken heart depressed and sometimes i feel regretful to know her for the way she treated me and made me feel about myself but anyway life goes on and so i did and forgot about her. now during this 10 years i tried to make some lgbt friends on the internet to try and talk to them and maybe figure out what is going on with me ( i know no lgbt ppl around me because as i said earlier i live in a conservative and religious society.) but it never worked i did not make a single lgbt friend most of them where interested in sex or are fake or or or ..... i used to use my real facebook in hope to meet any lgbt ppl (mostly lgbt ppl who are not from my society) till the day i met a nice gay guy through facebook who lives in the same state as me we talked a lot still haven't met him in person and he suggested that i make a fake facebook profile so i can be safe and easily meet lgbt ppl from our society/country since what most lgbt ppl do here but even making a fake profile did not work so i left this for a while because it was getting me tired and i was only asking/looking for an lgbt friend nothing more nothing less so i can feel that i am not the only one and that it's ok and just someone to advice me.. but since the break up i started to qestion my sequality more and more because the thing is i am only attracted to girl in an emotional way and not in a physical way .. i can see myself fall in love with another girl but i can't see myself doing physical stuff with a girl except for kissing. anyway i still have a lot of things i want to say but i don't want to make this very long or to bore anyone with. i just wanted to get this out of my chest because lately it started to piss me off and depress me i just want to know and understand what/who am i although i still have a thing for boys (i dated boys and fell in love with one once) but it's not as strong as the thing i have for girls. to be honest i don't like labels and i don't want t experiment (i never kissed a girl or slept with one i'm only emotionally attracted to them) i am just super confused and started to hating this, it became all i think about and i tend to daydream about kissing a girl cuddle with a girl fall asleep between a girl's arms. i sometimes feel ashemed about this. anyway thank you for reading this and i hope i wil find some help /friends here and whatnot.
There is romantical and sexual attraction, and quite a few people say they need an emotional connection first... don't feel ashamed to be gay... its nobodys fault, it just is... if you want to communicate with others, you would need to post 10 messages, then you can contact others via wall messages... and after a few weeks you can apply for full membership and join the chat... you might just make a few helpful postings in a few threads... there is a member called treatmeright, she is from your culture... maybe you could exchange a few wall messages with her, she once stated she would answer questions... hugs
