I'll try to keep this short but I'm in a sticky position and don't know who to ask. I've always thought I was straight but haven't had any real serious relationships with guys just short term. I catch myself checking out girls but never thought anything of it until now. I've just met this girl through work, problem one she works for the client I work on and problem two she thinks I'm bicurious. She started flirting with me and I went along with it for at least a month until I asked her if she wanted to meet up to study (legit, she's studying and I offered to help). We caught up and conversation quickly got onto us and my family then she talked about coming out and her family and her ex (which didn't bother me). She asked me who I dated, men or women? I panicked and said both. Later in the evening I tried to tell her I liked her but it came out awkwardly so I gave up (I ended up saying something stupid like I don't like labels) We have lots in common however I'm scared she's pulled away and said she wants to keep our relationship professional but I feel like it's a cop out and we've already passed being professional because of the flirting. I think she's scared because of my sexuality not being clear cut I don't know how to tell her I've seriously fallen for this girl, help!!
Well you might simply tell her... that you really like her, that you would like to spend time together with her, and you would like to take it slow... well concerning your past you could tell the truth... just remember you don't have to justify yourself, or be embarassed... you could say you feel for her and would like to take it slow and see where it takes both of you... after all you're not after quick sex but a relationship... and, well, that you could not relate to men much on a relationship level... I'd say don't be too nervous, just be yourself. hugs
There is nothing to be nervous about. I'd say just be yourself... say it as it is... wish you luck. hugs
So I have an update on this and it's not good so I made contact with her to catch up and chat but she shut me down straight away saying that she wouldn't meet with me (granted it was her BlackBerry) and wanted to just do her job, not sure what that's about, one minute she's flirting and offering to show me round her hometown (I'm new to the UK) then nothing the complete back off! Is she scared because we actually click? Now I've been taken off their account (another complication) at work because she said that she is uncomfortable working with me!! I don't friggin get it, does she like me or not? I don't think I have made her uncomfortable only recipcated her actions. ---------- Post added 1st May 2015 at 09:55 PM ---------- I should add she's a complete romantic, clingy and knows I don't mind and am similar, she gets jealous easily and I've been getting along well with her colleagues since she pulled away the first time
Well this was not to be expected from what you have told... it seems she is kind of upset and wants to keep some distance. Was this her reaction right after you tried to contact her on blackberry ?
She changed just after we talked about each other and then she said she wanted to keep things professional but initially she seemed keen and wanted more now I think cause she realised I was interested in her she freaked out and started acting completely different than before. I'm soooo confused by her behaviour I could have sworn she was keen!! Why flirt and compliment someone you don't like!?
Well it seems she is kind of conflicted... parts of her would like to, and parts of her are maybe driven by bad experiences...
Thanks jay that's helpful, its confusing to me and all I want to do is talk to her but now thats going to be very difficult. I think I'm going to ask a friend of mine to help as she's friends with her too. Do you think that's OK or should I just leave her for awhile?
It might be a good idea to ask your friend... Well there are a few possibilities... its possible she saw this really only as friendly contact, and found out you probably want more, and drew back... but imo that would not explain her reaction, it was quite emotional... another one is she is conflicted, parts of her would like to, but she has some restraints... you might ask your friend for her opinion. I personally would send her a text, explaining that I took a liking to her, but am not looking for one night stands and would like to take it slow... that I'd not pursue it further until I hear from her... but would look forward to it.. baseline: I'd say I don't want to play but am looking for a partnership, and would like to build some kind of friendship first. Problem is its difficult to foresee how she might react... if she could try to draw business away from your company, for example... so its your risk what you do... sending you a *hug*
If I might say mine, I'd say try to get to the bottom of it. If you like her, which you seem to do. And try to make contact. Maybe a direct 'offensive' could work. Like, a careful text, 'I really like you' or something. Might get her to realize stuff
Reads to me like she's interested, to a degree anyway. Also seems like there's some sort of work ethic/conflict of interest/corporate line that she doesn't want to cross. The abrupt end of discussion on blackberry, presuming it's work-supplied, tells me she's not fully ready to leave "evidence" around. If you do want to contact her to discuss this, I'd avoid using her work phone or email, and you may be so blunt as to tell her you like her as a friend for now and maybe more later, thought she liked you as well, and would things be different if you didn't work together. You can also ask what is her preferred way of contact (some people hate voice calls, some people are bad at texting, some people live on FB and others check it once a year, etc...).l
Thanks everyone it seems she's keen but I wasn't sure if it was legit or just fun but she's not a player. I'll try to get through to her another way! Wish me luck
