So I'm 19 years old and I've always thought I was straight. I don't have a problem with people being gay, lesbian or trans, I never have, but I always never wanted to be a lesbian. I never questioned my sexuality until almost three years ago when I met my female best friend, we were best friends instantly, and have been extremely close since. She is 200% straight (she constantly talks about her love of dick). almost two years ago I think I started to develop feelings for her, but I didn't admit it to myself until the middle of December.. I think admitting it to myself was a huge thing for me, and explained a lot of things for me. I used to be extremely jealous when she was dating her ex-boyfriend. I partially think that was because for almost a year she treated me like we were dating (she was very protective of me and also touchy especially in public) and then when she started Dating her now ex-boyfriend it destroyed me. I've gotten over my feelings for her in the last few months. I think admitting to myself that I had feelings for her was one of the biggest things I could do to help myself get over her. (She's dating a new guy now and there's no way we'd ever date so it just made sense to get over her). When I admitted to myself that I had feelings for her, I realized that I am pansexual, as I like people for who they are not what they are. But now as time goes on, I wonder if I am pansexual or if I'm a lesbian. As a kid I never was interested in the popular hot boy bands (NYSC, backstreet boys) and even now when people drool over Drake or Eminem I'm still thinking about my woman crush Alex Vause from Orange is the New Black. I can flirt with women with ease, but I get awkward fm jerk faith guys. The last crush j remember having on a guy was when I was in 10th grade, after that I had a crush on my female best friend mentioned earlier. I've only ever dated one guy and it was when I was 18 and lasted for about 6 weeks. I've never been with a girl either so that doesn't help too much. Im just confused and curious as to what I am. Any insight would be greatly appreciated! Thank you in advance!
You might have a look here for a few thoughts that might help you reflect: Am I Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, or Transgender? I'd say take the time you need... you might simply try to get closer to a few girls and see how it makes you feel... you might try some lgbt places, with activities... and for self acceptance you might have a look here: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/chit-...fo-you-got-ec-helped-you-accept-yourself.html Its not really necessary to use a label, its up to you... just take the time you need... hugs
