I feel like my sexuality works as a package... I mean, some of my bisexual friends will fancy women one day and men the next, and when they're thinking about women they could be flirting with almost any woman, not just the one they might be most interested in, and same for when they're thinking about men. They then ignore the other gender. It's either/or for them, but for me it's different. I go for the individual and it seems the more I flirt with bisexual men, the more I like some women too! I feel as if liking one gender helps me to like the other gender more too, and if I didn't like both then I wouldn't like either...!! Which is crazy really as I would probably like one gender and not the other. But because I like androgynous people, I find myself enjoying feminine traits in men and then realising I can like those traits in girls too. Is anyone else finding this happens to them too?
I can't say I experience exactly the same thing, but I haven't (yet) gone through phases where I'm only interested in one gender, or even more interested in one gender. It's never really been about gender, but like you say, the individual. So it doesn't sound contradictory to me to enjoy the same traits in a man and in a woman, if you like the traits. Actually it makes perfect sense. Anyway, I definitely don't think you're the only one.
I feel like I relate to this pretty well, actually (although I've never heard anyone say they could flirt with almost any woman or man...that smacks of the bisexual = pig stereotype). But attraction to the individual, and feeling that attraction to one increases or facilitates attraction to the other really does resonate. I'm not *quite* sure that I'd say that if I didn't like both, I'd like neither (I find that a very interesting statement to contemplate)...but I could see it as possible.
I'm so glad it's not just me who feels like that!! I really like a girl but am too scared to go any further with her, but when I flirt with guys, I feel myself liking her more. She has boyfriends too so she shouldn't mind, although she would mind if she thought I would stop liking her, but that won't happen. When I say that some of my friends will flirt with any man or woman, I don't mean like they'd actually sleep with anyone (although some do!) but just casual flirting depending on what gender they were feeling attraction to at the time. My female crush is like that. For her, flirting with one girl can help her to like another girl more, whereas I would be feeling jealous if she was flirting with a girl who's not me, but I wouldn't mind her flirting with a guy! It's sooo complicated, especially as me and her have opposite reactions in that way! But when I flirt with the really cute bi guy I work alongside, I tend to notice the more feminine traits (ie small, dainty bone structure) which make him stand out as one of the hottest guys I've ever met, and then I realise those traits are attractive in girls too
My friend is like that...when she has a bf, she flirts with women...when she has a gf, men appeals to her... you know, it's really just a matter of preference.
Yeah I got a preference for guys, but the attractions for women are still there. It all depends on how I feel with the individual. General speaking, my attractions may fluctuate from day to day, or might go the extreme in other days. Even though I'm talking to a guy right now (long distance), I still find myself flirting with girls, and chatting with guys more as friends. We're all different. No need to fit yourself in a specific place.
