Okay so this is my first time writing ever about myself. Recently I've been pretty depressed, I had to go to therapy because of hocd, I'm pretty sure it was hocd. Anyways I got better and now it just came back and I've been questioning myself if I'm gay, I REALLY don't want to be gay nor bisexual, not that I have anything against lgbts but I'd prefer not to be. I get scared when I think about even being gay or coming out. Recently I've been finding guys attractive and it scares me because I do. I try to check out girls a lot but I just don't get the same feeling as I used to. I've always been straight I love girls. I brag to my family about having 3 girlfriends at a time even though I've only had two since the 2nd grade I'm a junior and I've gotten close to dating a girl but I usually don't because I find something about their appearance that I don't like. I just need a solid answer to know that I'm straight. I'm sorry if that was confusing by the way ---------- Post added 21st Apr 2015 at 04:36 PM ---------- I also think about experiencing being gay like sex and stuff and it scares me that I think about doing it with no problem
Hi, Bigdog! Firstly, what really is the reason why you don't want to be gay? It's ego isn't it? But anyway, if you really are gay inside, you can't supress it forever. On a hopeful note though, don't come into conclusions yet. Continue to observe your attractions towards both sexes. If you still effortlessly find men appealing, then you could be gay, or bisexual.
OCD and orientation issues are similar in that the problem is resolved by accepting yourself as who you are. You don't have to fit the norm, and in fact it feels good to be different. I was scared of my attractions to guys as well, and even though I'm okay with my attractions to guys, it's my attractions to girls that scares me. It stems from the fear of failure and doing wrong. It makes me want to identify as gay more than anything else, but the issue behind that is I'm not gay, and I guess that's how it's going to be. I like both guys and girls, and in different ways. That's just who I am.