Hey. So this is my first ever post. I don't think I'm confused about my sexuality. I've always found women attractive but I've never been in a relationship with a woman. I would happily come out if I met someone who I thought I could be in a serious relationship with. Late last year I met a woman who went to my gym. She walked into my class and I was totally stumped. I immediately felt attracted to her. We got to know each other slowly and now we are really good friends. We see each other at least a few times a week. She was quite open about having a lot of gay friends and I couldn't figure if she was a lesbian or not. From conversations I don't think she is, but I don't quite trust my judgement around her. Maybe it's just me wishing she was and reading into things wrong because of how I feel. I can't stop thinking about her. First thing in the morning. Last thing at night. We have gotten into the habit of texting each other early in the mornings too, which I love. But I don't know if what I feel is love or something called Limerence. Am I reading her wrong?Any advice??
It's hard to say if you're reading her wrong or not from what you've said. I would say your best bet is to ask her out to have coffee. You could also ask her straight up if she's into girls. It's pretty obvious that you care for her deeply. Sounds like love to me!
Thanks for your reply EpicConfusion. You're right. I do care about this woman. A lot. And I know she cares about me too. I'd really love to just tell her how I feel but I'm scared I will lose her as a friend. And good friends are hard to come by in my experience. I'm a single mum and I work so often that I find it really difficult to meet new people. I've not met a love interest in over 4 years, and then she came along. New friends are hard to find also. Especially when I'm limited to social events with a 4 year old in tow. This woman is 10 yrs older than me and has embraced my son like a natural (she doesn't have kids either!). At times I feel like I'm confusing friendship for "love". But I don't txt or get txt's from any of my other girl friends first thing in the morning. And all it is is a simple "good morning". Sometimes she adds "gorgeous" in too. Maybe she's just a very affectionate person. Either way it's confusing as hell.
If thinking about her is intrusive and interfering with your normal day to day activities, you might want to consider that it's not genuine love, it might be just limerence. If you love someone, you don't obsess about them. But it's really up to your judgment and how you weigh things...limerence can develop into love, hopefully
I can definitely see how that would be confusing :/ It is not unreasonable of you to be nervous telling her about your feelings. It is a very valid concern. I would just continue as you are to be friends and see if something more happens eventually. You should definitely at least hint that you're interested in women and for sure ask her on a date.
