Hello everyone. Thank you for taking the time to read this encyclopedia. I have been confused for a year over my true orientation. Since I was a little girl whether he was a boy at school, an actor from an Old Hollywood film or a male teacher I knew who I was and who I was made to be attracted to, date, marry, have children with, grow old together with and for a long time between the ages of 6 -12 years old and that made aboslute perfect sense was a man. I always noticed people men & women same as one would people watch and never thought anything of it except sometimes my heart would beat furiously over a pretty women in a movie, TV commercial but as a little girl I can remember when Ellen had that show and she said she was gay and I saw the commercial where she said she was gay ... that along with mother nature and a movie remake starring a handsome actor alongside a pretty woman who could sing like nobody else took away my innocence at 10 years old As I got older and as hormones are going crazy that was during the boy band explosion with NSYNC & BSB and I loved them but one day I kissed my Brtiney Spears poster and felt weird and ashamed but happy and confused all at once. As far as I know I may have always commented that famous girl was pretty liked her movie but never except fora few people here and there. What if I've been wrong all along though?! I always liked male singers thought were sexy but now whether he's rich or famous .... men don't do anything for me. I don't care if he's the sexiest man alive its as if my sexuality has died and is stagnant like final heartbeat time of death. I'm a virgin never been married dated or kissed a guy very shy anxious nervous. I've skipped my period a few times but down there I know something's wrong but I don't know. What is wrong with me? Do I need a hormone replacement therapy? Vitamins? Last year I asked myself I was gay and it scared me. I struggled with it on the inside am now convinced I'm asexual. ---------- Post added 23rd Apr 2015 at 06:18 PM ---------- Since opening up last year I allowed myself to have female celebrity crushes and then the fantasies began. I've dreamed of having sex with a woman but it doesn't make sense how it works or how do you do that? I've craved kisses from a woman and it sometimes makes sense in a real way but I don't know orwwhat I am as I've said.
