How can I make myself stop having feelings for girls?

I can imagine telling yourself this may calm you down a bit but it's just you bargaining and trying to convince yourself why you shouldn't act on your same-sex attraction. Why do you feel ashamed? Because of your boyfriend, or because you think that having feelings for girls is wrong? Btw if those feelings for girls are genuine and it's who you are there's no way they'll go away and the only thing you can do is to accept them, not to fight them. Wishing you all the best. (*hug*)

 

Hi serendipity.

(*hug*) There you go. You need a hug. I'm sorry you're going through this, it sounds like it's quite stressful for you.
There are two separate issues here. That of your sexuality, and that of your current relationship. The first one isn't urgent, but the second one could be.

I understand that your boyfriend is a great guy. And you've been with him for four years, you're about to get engaged -- it seems like a strong relationship. I'm sure he's been there for you many times, and you would hate to hurt him. That's natural. But the fact is, you've been having doubts about your relationship for two years. In a monogamous relationship, falling for someone else can be harmful to the relationship -- and hiding it for two years, with those feelings getting stronger and stronger, doesn't help.
You said you're in love with your coworker. At no point did you mention how in love you are with your boyfriend. It could be just that there's more "sparks" with the unknown, the mystery, the rush of new love than with your boyfriend and your routine. Or it could mean something more. Only you know that.

It's not about there being a "reason." Do you want to leave him? Have you seriously considered it? If you genuinely want to leave someone, no matter the reason, if you're not happy with being in the relationship anymore, then you owe it to yourself and the other person to be honest about it.
And for the record, being in love with someone else is a very valid reason to leave someone, when you're mono.

And the best way to do that is to be honest with him, whatever you decide. He deserves it.

You're not going to be confused your whole life. Many people here were confused at some point. The fact that you said this indicates you've given thought to dating girls, hence to ending your current relationship -- and that's what you need to think about now. Your relationship with your boyfriend.

I hate to tell you this, but you can't. You can't just switch off attraction to someone else. You have to make a decision, based on who and what is more important to you. If you're happy and in love and you want to marry your boyfriend, then continue on with your relationship. If you don't want to be with him anymore, it's better for him and you in the long run for you to leave him. If you think thoughts of your coworker or other girls will haunt you forever and you'll always have doubts about whether you did the right thing, maybe it's time to reconsider.

 

Hmm, I might be repeating a little bit what others have said, but if I can give my thoughts on the matter...
First, you're probably not straight if you're falling for females. Then I'd say you're quite probably bisexual, heteroflexible, or something else, but not straight. Do ask yourself this question seriously: would you date another woman?
Secondly, you need to get out of this evil circle. You can't stand at the aisle thinking about someone else, that's neither fair to you nor to your fiancee. So, I suggest you deal with it, which can be done in several ways. You could perhaps try talking about it with the girl you say you're in love with, or you could talk about it with your husband, or a trusted friend/family member/mentor, or a councilor, etc. Just talk to someone about it, openly, honestly.
Good luck, and don't leave this one on the shelf, sweetie! *hugs* (*hug*)

 

Is your relationship monogamous? Is that something you want? Do you want to take a break to figure this out?

I think sometimes knowing our real desires and then talking/typing about them are the scariest parts of figuring it all out. You may choose not to act on what you want, but the desire is real and likely won't go away completely even if it changes.

 

Well, if it helps, I still have some attractions to girls. I remember a while back, I didn't think I would act on my fantasies with men in real life, but when I did I enjoyed it.

I'm not sure if something similar will happen to girls, but I'm not interested in it, at least not any time soon...

I wish I was Kinsey 6, really. Or on the extreme side of gay.