A couple days ago there was a post in the anonymous section, "Somewhat homoflexible." Well, it was me. I was ashamed to post that. I was ashamed of those few attractions to men, out of fear and ridicule. So now I'm coming clean. Ian Somerhalder (Damon Salvatore) was the first in 2010 - 2013 No longer into him. Matt Bomer (Neal Caffrey, which a majority of members already know). 2012 - present Leonard Nimoy (Spock) Two weeks ago - present I'm sorry for posting again. I just needed to do that for my sanity. I feel a lot better. Still VERY sapphically-inclined though(!)
Thanks for opening up . I understand your feelings, as I think I'm technically homoflexible as well, and it's a weird place to be in. I'm glad that admitting it helped you feel better.
Wow. If you're ashamed to post an interest in a few male celebrities, then I wonder how disgusting we actual avowed bisexuals must be to you? In any case, I'm glad you feel more comfortable with yourself now.
^ Oh no biAnnika! That's not why I felt ashamed at all. It's because a lot of lesbians are judgemental when it comes to having any attractions to men. They view that person as a traitor to the community. I'm not saying that would happen on here but it is common in the lesbian community.
Same here, it's a worry of not being considered "gay enough" to identify as gay/lesbian in the view of other lesbians. Not feeling shameful about those occasional attractions to men.
Well, I appreciate the clarification. That lesbian community (regardless of what the subset of it that intersects with EC may be like) basically does tend to have serious problems with bisexuals...maybe not as disgusting, exactly, but certainly as traitors (unless we stick with a same-sex partner forever, basically exclusively validating their preferences). And it is that problem with bisexuals that extends to closely questioning avowed lesbians who express some level of attraction to males ("what are you? one of those bisexual assholes?"). I mean, to some extent I get it: lesbians do experience a *lot* of invalidation of their sexuality; so I can see how it might be difficult to see people within their ranks not 100% reinforcing their sexuality (at least in their eyes). But I think this is an unrealistic attitude, given how much variation there is among people. Sure, I don't know whether to call you a Kinsey 5 or a somewhat open-minded Kinsey 6...but that's the point...given that it's not apparent from outside, I'm happy to accept your self-definition. Why other Kinsey-6's need to have a problem with that is unclear to me.
I consider myself a Kinsey 5 which to me is still lesbian because my attraction to women is so prominent and I don't have any in interest in dating guys. I agree that biphobia is stupid. It's like it's not enough that there are homophobes in the world, there has to be phobia within the community. Aren't we all supposed to love eachother? You know, connecting through the struggle of liking the same-sex. Sorry, what do you mean by "it's not apparent from the outside?"
All I meant was that it was not apparent from what you'd written (i.e., from outside your situation...to those of us who aren't you) whether you were a 5 or 6.
Oh, gotcha. Anyways I'm really glad that the terms homoflexible and heteroflexible exist. I wish I had known about them sooner. Not that using lesbian isn't enough but the flexible part feels right, more accurate. I remember when I first started having opposite sex attractions, I re-labelled myself bisexual for a year but it didn't feel appropriate for me.
