Hello everyone, this is my very first post ever. As a 17 year old girl in high school, I have only had one serious relationship - one I am currently in, and have been in for a little over two years. I genuinely love my boyfriend, who is 20 years old- we are basically living together as it is a work convenience for him to have a faster and closer way to work every morning (from my house to his office is about 5 minutes). My family absolutely adores him. I live in a 6-7 person household. About a month ago, I befriended a girl I know from school. I had never really talked to her before but had always admired her outfits and entire appearance in general. She is a beautiful girl. I am absolutely attracted to this girl, but at the time of initially meeting her, had never stopped to think she would ever like me back. Over the course of my relationship with my boyfriend, I have never thought about infidelity with any person, ever. Until now. I spent the night at her house the first week we started talking nonstop and I couldn't help but look at her in that enamored way. She fell asleep very early so I stayed up and looked at her room with great fascination. In the morning, we both woke up early and headed out for a bike ride. She only has one bike so I had to jog most of the way (great exercise so not complaining). 20 minutes into the trail, it starts pouring rain so we take turns jogging/biking home. We both have crazy huge smiles on our faces the entire time. She says I'm the first person to help her see the light again- as if I'm saving her from the depression she's been experiencing for almost a year now. A few days later, she revealed to me her intense romantic + sexual feelings for me. She has never felt this way about a girl before and neither have I. I feel absolutely incredible when I'm with her- as if I can be myself at all times. I forget about my boyfriend and all obligations. I just want to make her smile. The past few weeks have been a roller coaster as I've been struggling with the choice between staying with my boyfriend for the sake of my family's sanity, and leaving him for this girl for my own sanity. (Bear in mind, I have already told him about my feelings for her and he threatened to leave but I made him stay out of fear of my life falling apart without him. So he's made me stop contact with her..... Which I couldn't keep up with... I'm already talking to her again) I fantasize about her every single day. Help me figure this out.
Hey pristine, Welcome to EC. My best advice for you is to worry about yourself and what would make you happy, not others. If you think it is best to leave him, then think about it and see if this is what you want to do. If you stay with him only to please others, things aren't going to be healthy for you or even for him. I'm not saying you are going to be happy with that girl, or that things will work perfectly like in a movie, but, if you want to try that, then it is best to leave your boyfriend than to cheat on him, or to stay with him and make both of you unhappy in a relation you don't want to be. That said, i think you should take a moment (or even a day or two) to think about it, slowly and calmly. Hugs
Hey pristine, welcome to EC. :smilewave I agree with Chiroptera, choose what makes you happy not what makes others happy, or what satisfies others' expectations. It's totally up to you though but the way you described it it seems that in just one month she made you way more happier than your bf in two years. Why do you think is that? Moreover you said that with her you can be yourself at all times - it's a real gift, you know. Also what struck my attention is your choice of the word "obligations" when talking about your bf... Wishing you all the best. (*hug*)
Update: I'm still with my boyfriend.... And I've completely cut ties with the girl. Regardless, I'm pretty sure he's thinking about breaking up with me considering I am off to college in a month.
Why do you think he is going to break up with you? Would you still have feelings for this girl once you went to college? Why cut ties with her?
Hey welcome to EC. Im not going to tell you whether you should or shouldnt stay with your boyfriend only that staying with him based on the happiness of your family is wrong to everyone concerned. You wont be happy and its not fair on him to only be with him because you want to make your family happy. Long term nothing good can come of this.
NEVER do anything just because you don't want to upset you family. If you truly love your boyfriend, maybe explain that to this girl and say you can be close friends for now. If you wanr to get together with her, speak to your boy friend first. Good luck! Xx
